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Why are British voters so stupid?

Here’s a brief explanation of how the British political system works:

Voter votes for politician.

Politician says to voter, “You were paid £600 this week – give me £300”.

Voter: “Why should I?”

Politician: ” Because I’ll give you lots of wonderful public services. And think of all the underprivileged people you’ll be helping. And anyway, if you don’t give me the £300, I’ll send you to prison”.

Voter: “OK then”.

Politico takes the £600: gives £280 back in public services: keeps £50 for himself and his mates in the ruling elites: gives £100 to people who can’t be arsed to get up in the morning and go to work: hands over £100 to useless over-paid, over-pensioned, corrupt, incompetent civil servants: slips another £100 to his cronies in the banking industry (partly to bail them out from the results of their greed and incompetence and partly to pay off the interest on the money the politician borrowed from them): stuffs £60 into the pockets of the hordes of immigrants moving to a better life in Benefits Britain: sends twenty quid to the corrupt wasteful EU and gives a tenner to corrupt multi-billionaire Third World kleptocrats in countries like Pakistan and pretty much anywhere in Africa.

Ods bodkins! The politician has spent £720, but only taken in £600. So he has to borrow another £120.

Politician then thinks – “I want more money, the bureaucrats want more money, the bankers want more money, immigrants want more money, the EU wants more money and corrupt multi-billionaire Third World kleptocrats want more money”.

Politician then goes to the voter and says: “You were paid £600 this week – now give me £350”

Voter: “Why should I?”

Politician: ” Because I’ll give you lots of wonderful public services. And think of all the underprivileged people you’ll be helping. And anyway, if you don’t give me the £350, I’ll send you to prison”.

Voter: “OK then”.

Voter then votes for politician yet again.

Politician rubs his eyes in disbelief at how stupid the voter is.

(Many thanks to the couple of people who bought a copy of my latest book GREED UNLIMITED yesterday – if I can keep on selling the book at this rate, I’ll be rich in only 12,000 years)

2 comments to Why are British voters so stupid?

  • Paris Claims

    I honestly believe that most tory voters vote tory to keep labour out and vice versa. LibDem support come from those who hate tories and labour equally. I used to laugh at people who said “I don’t vote ‘cos they’re all the same”. How right they were. UKIP is our only hope.

  • Ros Calewll

    UKIP are faschists. They need to be exposed! I’ve UKIP leafeters to the Police. In a dedent socisty they would all be in prion or the gulag undergoing re-education to become decent citizens.

    Only a weird minority follw UKIP anywise! They are gpong nowhere.

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