April 2011

We’ve got the next king and queen – but what do we do with the useless Prince Charles?

With the wedding of Baldy Windsor and Kate Middleclass, we how have a modern-day king and queen who can take over Buck Palace once granny decides to call it a day. But there is a problem – what about the useless, self-absorbed, snivelling, egotistical, laughable little creep Prince Charles and his ugly witch wife Camilla […]

Please Mr Cameron, don’t start a war with Syria

Now that the Syrians have decided to beat hell out of each other, those pompous bombastic fools Liar Cameron and Loads-Of-Money Hague are spouting off about human rights abuses and oppression and all the usual crap politicians come out with when they want to look important and decisive. So what’s Liar Cameron going to do? […]

Another simple maths lesson for idiot Osborne

Pompous prat George Liar Osborne claims to be cutting the deficit, yet it keeps on going up. Here’s an example why. Suppose you have a town with 100,000 people. Of these 50,000 work, 10,000 are unemployed and 40,000 are too young or too old for work. Then you allow 10,000 people from Eastern Europe to […]

Score: Taliban – 500 :: NATO – 0

Well done to the Taliban. Organising a truly Great Escape and leaving the ineffectual NATO and the rotten corrupt Karzai government looking like incompetent fools. We have now been fighting in Afghanistan for longer than we fought in the First and Second World Wars. We have achieved absolutely nothing. Meanwhile Karzai and his cronies have […]

Will Syria start a war with Israel?

That chinless freak running Syria and his incompetent, corrupt, repressive, kleptocratic government have found out that they’re not awfully popular with their own people. They’re tried the traditional approach of shooting a few hundred of their own countrymen, but that doesn’t seem to have done the trick this time. That seems to leave just one […]

A laugh a minute in Libya

The great plan by our lying PM David Conqueror Cameron and Nicholas Smallcock Sarkozy seems to have gone thoroughly pear-shaped. The idea was to drop a few bombs, get Gaddafi’s forces to turn against him and let Liar Cameron and Smallcock Sarkozy come out looking like heroes. Although we were promised no boots on the […]

Eurozone bailout is just another bank rip-off

Our politicians bleat about how we have to help bail out the completely bankrupt Greece, Portugal and Ireland. But it’s not the countries we are bailing out. After all, they could just default on their debts and walk away unharme like Iceland did. The problem is that our banks have huge loans to these countries. […]

We have to pay for Arab stupidity, corruption, greed and backwardness

Probably no group in human history has ever had the good fortune of Arabs with their massive resources of oil and gas. They could have used the money earned to invest in educating their people (including women) and building schools, hospitals, roads, universities and research institutes. Instead they have squandered all their money because of […]

A simple maths lesson for idiot Osborne

I wonder if that pompous prat Osborne (who seems to know even less about economics than Liar Brown) is sitting with his well-paid advisers wondering why public spending and the deficit keep increasing in spite of his ‘cuts’. Let me help him understand with a simple example. Let’s imagine a civil servant who we’ll call […]

Time to scrap our cowardly navy?

Just when you think our navy can’t get any worse, it does. First we find out that when taken prisoner for a few days by Iranians, our brave seamen started crying when their iPods were confiscated. Then we learn that the navy watched from a safe distance while the Chandlers were captured by Somali pirates. […]