What McKinsey management consultants really think of their stupid, gullible clients

I’m not sure if I’ve already used this. It’s a song reportedly sung at a McKinsey consultants’ Christmas party (to the tune of Hark The Herald Angels Sing) (click on picture to see more clearly)

�

If you aim to get the best result

And maximum performance you want to see

Then you really should consult

A Management Consultancy

McKinsey management consultants are we

We take all our clients� money

We can earn many a million

Because our clients have no vision. (Repeat last two lines as chorus)

If Process Redesign is what you will

And you think it�ll make a success of all you do

Then rely on us to send you a bill

While we redesign your processes for you.

We are from McKinsey � young, bright and flash

We take mountains of our clients� cash

We win lots of new clients rich and fine

When we go round flogging Process Redesign (Repeat last two lines as chorus)

We�ve got handouts and we�ve got flip charts

And dazzling PowerPoint presentations

And we blow clients away

With our brilliant explanations.

We are McKinsey�s little lackeys

Telling clients they�re in trouble is just one of our strategies

Our language is smart and makes our clients ill-at-ease

It�s what we call �Consultantese�. (Repeat last two lines as chorus)

The culture at ��. is a real dead weight

But we crush resistance before it grows

We�re used to organisations in a dreadful state

Because, of course, we are Pros!

We are McKinsey�s real hard core

We are the ones who�ll win the war

Now we�re going to party and have fun because

Cheers! We�ve just got our bonuses from Santa Claus. (Repeat last two lines as chorus)

*I have reported this song as best as I can, considering the circumstances in which I came across it