October 2017
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Britain has too many useless old people. Sir David Nicholson, your country needs you!

We all know its true – Britain’s population of elderly keeps on growing. I realise that most of these people have worked and paid taxes and NI all their lives and so expect a reasonable pension and some decent medical care in their twilight years. But the fact is, we can’t afford it. Our EU masters have decided that benefits scroungers, criminal scum and people who hate us have much more right to taxpayers’ support than those who have made a contribution to British society. And soon over one million Romanian and Bulgarian families will be heading to Benefits Britain. They will cost us over £30bn a year in housing, schooling, healthcare and benefits. So we need to save some money. This is where men like Sir David Nicholson can help. Sir David has the vision to see what needs to be done and the drive to carry it out.

Sir David has realised that old people are rather useless, often smell slightly of urine, dress badly, have unsightly hairs growing from the ears and nostrils, complain much of the time and that they are just a burden on our bright, new welcoming multicultural society. So to save us money, Sir David has used his filthy slaughterhouse hospitals to send at least 5,000 useless old people on their final journey years before they thought they would be leaving us. Let’s look at the maths of Sir David’s great achievement. Assuming each old person costs us about £10,000 a year in pension and care costs and assuming Sir David has despatched 5,000 of them on average 5 years before their time, then almost single-handedly Sir David has saved us about £250m.

Of course, this £250m is small change compared to the £30bn a year we’ll need for the Romanians and Bugarians. But if Sir David could up his rate of slaughtering useless old people to say 10,000 a year, that would save £500m a year and also free up some much-needed housing for our Romanian and Bulgarian friends.

While most people witter on about cutting public spending, Sir David is a man of action and actually does something. No wonder David Cameron has expressed full confidence in Sir David. Sir David is a man who gets things done. We should be glad that amongst all the incompetent, overpaid, overpensioned buffoons running our public services, there are also people like Sir David. Come on, Sir David, we have to get rid of more useless, costly, smelly old people. You know you can do it.

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