October 2023
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David Attenborough would not have said, “I’m crapping myself”

Hopefully I’m not the only person who has noticed a collapse in the quality of TV documentaries. They used to be presented by people with knowledge and enthusiasm for their subject. But now many seem to use pig-ignorant, nobodies who replace the communication of knowledge with constant “wows” and “that’s amaaaazing” and “oh my God, oh my God, oh my God” and suchlike inanities which focus attention on the self-obsessed, idiotic presenter rather than the subject.

However, the BBC seems to have hit a new low with a programme called The polar bear family and me. Given the amount of time the presenter spent talking about himself, perhaps the programme should have been named Me-Me-Me and here are also some shots of some polar bears to justify the huge amount of licence-fee-payers’ money I’m pocketing.

During one scene, when the (IMHO) pig-ignorant, gobshite, self-regarding presenter got close to a hungry polar bear, he “helpfully” informed us “I’m crapping myself”. He could have said, “this is very frightening” or, if he absolutely had to make himself the subject of the programme, “I’ve never been so afraid”. But, no. He felt it necessary to tell us “I’m crapping myself”.

This was a programme aimed at families, so what kind of example does it give when a TV presenter says “I’m crapping myself”? This deliberate descent into the gutter is an indictment of the gobshite presenter, the editor and the whole BBC. After all, of the hundreds of hours of footage they could have used, they felt it necessary to include the “I’m crapping myself” segment. No doubt the presenter, editor and BBC felt they were being modern and edgy and cool by including the “I’m crapping myself”. But then perhaps the BBC felt they were being modern and edgy and cool when they knowingly allowed Jimmy Savile to abuse scores of teenagers on BBC premises.

Perhaps it’s time to cut the BBC’s budget by 5% a year for the next five years, so the BBC can focus on producing public-service broadcasting rather than garbage from foul-mouthed, self-obsessed nobodies?

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