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Are we sure our next king is qualified to do the job?

(weekend blog)

Critics like to accuse Boris Johnson of being a ‘buffoon’. But someone who probably better deserves that accolade is the heir to the throne – Prince Charles.

The Prince of Wales has just warned global leaders (yet again, yawn) that if we don’t tackle climate change in 18 months the human race will go extinct. Here are his actual words, in a speech in London this week to foreign ministers from the Commonwealth: “I am firmly of the view that the next 18 months will decide our ability to keep climate change to survivable levels and to restore nature to the equilibrium we need for our survival”.

I won’t even bother to waste your time explaining why Charles’s claims are total gibberish. But I do wonder if Charles is an unfortunate reincarnation of his not so great great uncle Edward VIII (Edward the Abdicator).

The similarities between our useless, whining, self-absorbed, self-serving, almost certifiable Prince Charles and Edward the Abdicator are astonishing.

1. Edward VIII was emotionally-retarded, immature and self-centered. Edward’s private secretary for eight years believed that “for some hereditary or physiological reason his normal mental development stopped dead when he reached adolescence”. Remind you of anyone?

2. Both became Prince of Wales. Edward was officially invested as Prince of Wales in a special ceremony at Caernarvon Castle on 13 July 1911. A rather fanciful ceremony in the style of a Welsh pageant was invented for Edward and he was coached to speak a few words in Welsh. Just like Prince Charles’s overblown and utterly pointless investiture.

3. Edward could have had the pick of any number of young, attractive, eligible girls. Instead he preferred the older, charmless remarried divorcee Wallis Simpson. Useless Charles did, in fact, marry a beautiful, eligible young girl, Princess Diana. But he always preferred the older and (IMHO) charmless Camilla and left Diana for his beloved Camilla.

4. Wallis Simpson was described by someone who knew her as “austere”, “lantern-jawed” and “with a face like an old boot”. By the way, this is Camilla:

5. It was rumoured that Edward was sexually inadequate, felt threatened by younger, beautiful women and the only way he could get sexual satisfaction was because Wallis Simpson had “learnt a few tricks when in China”. For decency’s sake, let us not speculate here on Charles’s sex life with Diana and then Camilla. Though it is significant that after her divorce, Diana preferred the company of rather manly men (one of whom had the nickname “horse” for reasons I hope I don’t have to mention here) – men very unlike whining drip Charles.

6. Edward was described as being “completely obsessed” by Wallis Simpson. Charles became a national laughing stock with his “I want to be your tampon” phone call to Camilla.

7. Wallis Simpson ended up spending the rest of her life “living with a man she privately ridiculed” for being immature, boring, self-absorbed and intellectually her inferior. Camilla and Charles? Maybe. One can imagine Camilla ridiculing the hopeless Charles to her friends. Though it’s said that Camilla is no genius either.

8. Edward caused unease in government circles with actions that were interpreted as interference in political matters. Government ministers were reluctant to send confidential documents and state papers to Edward because there was a lack of confidence in his discretion in constitutional and political matters. A bit like the recidivist meddler Charles.

9. Both men were emotionally and intellectually unsuited to become the kind of king anyone could have any respect for. But the main difference between these two men seems to be that Edward didn’t want to become king and probably used his relationship with Wallis Simpson as a way of getting out of any royal commitments, so he could live a life of idle luxury at taxpayers’ expense without actually doing any work. Charles, on the other hand, is desperate to become king even though this would be a disaster for the royal family and would probably lead to Australia, New Zealand and Canada becoming republics. After all, who would Charles’s stupid face staring at them every time they used their money?

5 comments to Are we sure our next king is qualified to do the job?

  • A Thorpe

    What is the job? We haven’t a clue what the Queen really does except when we see her on outings and ceremonial duties. When she says anything it is written for her. We have no idea what she thinks about anything. She opens parliament and tells us what HER government is going to do and is now doing nothing about the mess HER government has created. Does she respect democracy? If so she she be demanding that HER government gets us out of the EU.

    On the other hand we know what Charles thinks about everything and it is not impressive. But to be fair on climate issues he is not the only one infected by the groupthink that has infected most of the world. It is like turning the clock back 2000 years when religion did exactly the same to people. Mackay said humans think in herds, go mad in herds but only recover their sanity one by one. I don’t think he had any idea how long it took for this process to work through. I don’t expect to see it end in my lifetime but it is more likely to make the human race extinct than anything the climate does.

  • William Boreham

    From Tom Bower’s book about the clown:

    ‘Nobody knows what utter hell it is to be Prince of Wales,’ Charles said in November 2004. His idea of hell, it must be said, is unlikely to be shared by most of his future subjects.
    Take, for example, accounts of what it is like to have Prince Charles come to stay for the weekend.
    Before a visit to one friend in North-East England, he sent his staff ahead a day early with a truck carrying furniture to replace the perfectly appropriate fittings in the guest rooms.
    And not just the odd chest of drawers: the truck contained nothing less than Charles and Camilla’s complete bedrooms, including the Prince’s orthopaedic bed, along with his own linen.
    His staff had also made sure to pack a small radio, Charles’s own lavatory seat, rolls of Kleenex Premium Comfort lavatory paper, Laphroaig whisky and bottled water (for both bedrooms), plus two landscapes of the Scottish Highlands.
    The next delivery to arrive was his food — organic, of course. His hosts decided, despite their enjoyment of his company, not to invite him again.
    Their experience was less distressing, however, than that of the family asked to host Charles for a long weekend on the Welsh borders.
    Over the preceding months, they’d invited many friends for the four meals at which he’d preside; they’d also hired staff and ordered in masses of food and flowers.
    But on the Friday afternoon of Charles’s expected arrival, there was a call from St James’s Palace to offer regrets. Under pressure of business, the Prince could not arrive until Saturday morning.
    The following day, the same official telephoned to offer regrets for Saturday lunch, but gave the assurance that Charles would arrive for dinner. Then, that afternoon, the whole visit was cancelled due to ‘unforeseen circumstances’.
    The considerable waste and disappointment were not mitigated when Charles later revealed to his stricken hostess the reason for his cancellation. He had felt unable to abandon the beauty of his sunlit garden at Highgrove, he said.

  • Stillreading

    William Boreham, is all this actually TRUE? Could we have it RELIABLY authenticated? If true, then yes – we all need to think objectively about his future – and present – role and someone needs to pull him into line if necessary and tell him to live in the real world. However, given the Monarch’s fundamental lack of any actual power, he can’t do much long term harm. Personally I’ve always felt a bit sorry for Charles, evidently a fundamentally sensitive, probably shy, chap, having no choice regarding the position into which, as eldest son of the Monarch, he was expected to slot. After all, it can’t be much fun to be 70 and still waiting for promotion! I’ve never forgotten the photo of him, aged four, greeting his mother by SHAKING HANDS WITH her when she and the Duke of E. returned from a lengthy overseas tour. Where was the swooping him into her arms, hugging and kissing him, as I or any normal mother – and Diana herself – would have done? I also doubt that Gordonstoun was the right school for a boy of his personality. Certainly he should never have been coerced into marrying Diana, but on the positive side their union gave us two young men who are restoring respect for the Monarchy. William and his wife and lovely children are performing their roles admirably and I am confident will continue to do so. (Which way Harry will go now he’s acquired a wife who seems bent on causing problems is anyone’s guess, but he’s only the “spare” and several removes now from the actual Job!) As for Camilla, she may not be a raving beauty, but she is very evidently THE love of Charles’ life, and good luck to them. The indication is that she’s in fact rather a nice woman. Time moves on, people are what they are, we all make mistakes, and far better the Monarchy with a future King Charles as titular Head of State than, say, Cheri Blair as First Lady! I rest my (pro-Monarchy) case!

  • A Thorpe

    Interesting tale about Charles. His friends are to blame for encouraging this behaviour. I’m not convinced about the reports – in one case he sends his own food and in the other it was bought by his hosts.

  • tomsks

    Been a monarchist all my life, but although not a republcan I give up on them. Yes I’d prefer Willy Bean over Charles anyday but I think they are pretty pointless as are the monarchs oaths. She has not said a word whilst her government have treaty after treaty given our country away, she has remained silent despite me writing to her reminding her she os the Defender of the Faith and her street preachers are being arrested for preaching the Gospel as Jesus did and she never comesout to watch the old soldiers marching on rememberance, she heads indoors with the other hob knobbers for drinky poos. No time for her/them anymore/ Cromwell arise.

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