May 2021
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McKinsey’s millionaire consultants mock our stupidity

The Labour and Tory governments’ favourite management consultancy, McKinsey, is pocketing millions or even tens of millions of pounds of our money imposing a top-down reorganisation of the NHS that will increase bureaucracy and waste. This is after the Tories promised us there would be no more top-down reorganisations of the NHS and that they would reduce NHS bureaucracy and waste. But judging from a song reportedly sung at a McKinsey consultants’ Christmas party, McKinsey’s millionaire consultants don’t think much of their clients –  us and our government. (I believe this should be sung to the tune of Hark the herald angels sing, repeating the last two lines of each verse as a chorus)

If you aim to get the best result
And maximum performance you want to see
Then you really should consult
A Management Consultancy
McKinsey management consultants are we
We take all our clients’ money
We can earn many a million
Because our clients have no vision.
 If Process Redesign is what you will
And you think it’ll make a success of all you do
Then rely on us to send you a bill
While we redesign your processes for you.
We are from McKinsey – young, bright and flash
We take mountains of our clients’ cash
We win lots of new clients rich and fine
When we go round flogging Process Redesign
We’ve got handouts and we’ve got flip charts
And dazzling PowerPoint presentations
And we blow clients away
With our brilliant explanations.
We are McKinsey’s little lackeys
Telling clients they’re in trouble is just one of our strategies
Our language is smart and makes our clients ill-at-ease
–      It’s what we call ’Consultantese’.
The culture at ……. is a real dead weight
But we crush resistance before it grows
We’re used to organisations in a dreadful state
Because, of course, we are Pros!
We are McKinsey’s real hard core
We are the ones who’ll win the war
Now we’re going to party and have fun because
Cheers! We’ve just got our bonuses from Santa Claus.

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