If Baldy divorces, can we have our money back?

Over the next few weeks our lives are going to be filled by the usual overpaid, brown-nosing sycophants gushing over the wedding of Baldy Windsor to Kate Middleclass. Baldy can marry who he wants, but as usual British taxpayers are getting fleeced to pay for this supposedly great occasion. So perhaps it would be fitting to ask if Baldy’s multi-millionaire perennially useless father was to give us a written undertaking that he’ll give us our tens of millions back if Baldy gets divorced. After all, he can afford it more than we can.

Talking of fathers, I wonder if Prince Harry’s father will be invited to the wedding – nudge, nudge, know what I mean?