December 2017
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Management gobbledigook and buzzword alert

I’ve just seen the new boss at Tesco explain his plan for rebuilding his collapsing business – “We need to rethink and re-energise around the customer agenda”.

OK, it’s fairly easy to work out what he means. But where on earth did he learn to speak like that? And why?

Like so many other once great British companies, that used to be run by people who knew their business inside out, Trashco now seems to be run (and ruined) by management-gobbledigook-spouting buffoons.

Anyway, if you love management gobbledigook, here’s a management gobbledigook generator that will give you hundreds of impressive-sounding, totally meaningless phrases and sentences that you can use to stun your colleagues and impress your idiotic boss:

http://projects.wsj.com/buzzwords2014/#p=7%7C46,9%7C32%7C1%7C%7C%7C0

You just click on the “New Phrase” button and you’ll get your own carefully-crafted inanities to spout at your next meeting.

And who knows? If you become fluent in management gobbledigook, you could earn millions of pounds a year running one of Britain’s great companies into the ground and then millions more as a pay-off just to get rid of you.

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