Time to scrap our cowardly navy

There was one very revealing fact to come out of the Chandlers’ pirate story. The pirates who captured them were terrified that the Chandlers might be French, because the French would probably launch a military rescue attempt. But when the pirates found out the Chandlers were British they relaxed – the pirates knew that the iPod-listening, smartly-uniformed cowards in our Royal Navy would do nothing. In fact a Royal Navy boat with marines on board watched the Chandlers’ capture but were too frightened by a small pirate boat to intervene – they might have lost their iPods or got dirty marks on their smart uniforms.

Today’s Royal Navy is a disgrace. There are more admirals than ships and more bureaucrats than sailors. And now we’re spending billions to give these HMS Pinafore caricatures two aircraft carriers with no aircraft. You’d cry if you weren’t laughing so much. Maybe it’s time to scrap the navy and merge it with the army. At least our soldiers know that they’re paid to defend our interests.