February 2023
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“Ooops – global warming isn’t actually happening” the Met Office

Here’s a story you won’t hear from the politically-correct, Global-Warming-obsessed BBC or the Guardian. The Met Office have been playing with their new £30m supercomputer which can do one trillion calculations per second and found out that the earth hasn’t warmed up at all since 1998

There’s so much I could write including “told you so” or “ha-ha-ha”. But instead I’ll just plagiarise a suggested statement from the Met Office written by a Telegraph reader as it seems to accurately encapsulate the collapse of the man-made Global Warming scam.

“There is no warming, and it’s a travesty there isn’t. All our scaremongering has come to nought (but it’s just a temporary aberration). But don’t worry – it’s only a blip – full warming will be resumed one day, perhaps – even after the coming Little Ice Age, but it’ll be back, you mark our words!

In the meantime, every little weather thing you folk experience will be classed as “record breaking” or “extreme”, and we’ll continue to put out orange and red alerts for, er, weather. Also, when it’s cold it’s warm, really, and when it’s dry it’ll really be quite wet, and we’ll manage to trigger a completely unnecessary hosepipe ban sometime next year, you wait and see…

Don’t forget, your children won’t be seeing snow any more (except in our coming bitterly cold winters), so you’d better get used to it, and prepare those barbies for the next ‘barbecue summer’ (like the one we confidently predicted for 2012), and yes, we DID forecast a Mediterranean climate in the future, but what we forgot to mention was the fact that in the coming Little Ice Age the Med will be bloody cold, too.

But you MUST all realise that warming hasn’t gone away, it’s merely taking a break and will return, rejuvenated, to prove us right all along, you see if it doesn’t.

Incidentally, sorry to frighten you with all these scares about catastrophic global warming, and blaming you for it all, but it was a good wheeze, as was our insistence that CO2 and other greenhouse gases were the cause, when we knew all along that it was the sun’s activity and other natural causes”.

Maybe I’ve got room for one other reader’s comment:

“Why is this story tucked away at the bottom of the Telegraph’s home news section? It’s one of the most important we’ve seen. It destroys the Global Warming Hoax. It has major implications for the green taxes that have been imposed because of the scam. Will these now be reversed?

It has major implications for taxpayer money, currently being frittered away on ridiculous policies like building windfarms. It has major implications for our energy policy.

Where are the politicians? Why are they not lining up to apologise for being jackasses and for subscribing to a con?”

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