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“Heart me empty, no hab you” and other messages of love from Thailand

Yesterday, I wrote about the need for Thai bargirls, barboys and ladyboys to keep a constant stream of money flowing from their farang menfriends. One way to ensure the money keeps coming is to send a stream of SMSs and emails professing undying love.

Unfortunately, many Thai sex workers will have limited command of foreign languages and will only know a few key phrases like “you take me, good boom boom” and “where you go handsome man? I go with you”. Fortunately, there are plenty of books available to help Thai sex workers communicate with their farang menfriends. Unfortunately, many of these books appear to have been writtten by people with a flowery turn of phrase which they have then translated rather badly word for word. Here are a few choice examples of love messages a farang can expect

“If your heart has any space for me please delete it”

“I’ve been keeping this love all my life but today I’ve decided to give it to you”

“The love potion is just right with every minute of warmth added”

“Thanks for stepping into my life and fill it full with your tender love”

“My heart x-ray show your face smiling inside”

“Aren’t you going to miss me at all you heartless friend?”

“I may not be your dream angle but all my feeling I give it all to you”

“My heart is shaking like little bird in the rain when you gone away again”

“Doctor say I’ve a fever as high as 100 deg of thought about you”

And one of my favourites “I swear in the name of The Fried Chicken and French Fries that I’d still be loving you to the end of the world”.

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