January 2018
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Why can’t the English vote on Scottish independence?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a democracy and the English were allowed to vote on whether they wanted  Scotland to be independent. The result would probably be a resounding “YES!” Then the Scots could bugger off, adopt the euro and become a miserable rain-sodden insignificant little lump of land ruled the the corrupt and wasteful Portuguese fool Barrosso and his equally corrupt and wasteful cronies. We’d also save millions by getting rid of all the useless, arrogant, ignorant, expenses-fiddling Scottish MPs.

But imagine if we’d let the Scots go twenty years ago. Then we would never have had the lying, economically-incompetent, financially-incontinent buffoon Gordon Brown destroying our economy. Instead he’d only have been able to destroy Scotland’s economy. Independence for Scotland? Absolutely! The sooner the better! Perhaps we can also sue the Scots for all the damage liar Brown did to England?

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