I’m worried about how our sneering, progressive, liberal, lefty elites are going to cope with a Donald Trump presidency.
Life hasn’t been easy lately for the contemptuous, morally superior, progressive, liberal lefties. Last year a Tory majority won power in Britain in spite of the lefties’ brilliant candidate Ed ‘McCluskey’s glove puppet’ Miliband.
Then a majority of Brits (unexpectedly for their progressive. liberal, we-know-what’s-good-for-you rulers and sycophantic media) voted for Brexit to regain Britain’s independence from the corrupt, wasteful, undemocratic, statist EU.
Then a large number of the supposed highly-educated, enlightened ‘refugees’ the lefties welcomed to Europe turned out to be illiterate, unemployable, benefits-scrounging, religiously-backward, violent, sexist economic migrants and serial rapists.
Moreover, Austria are having to re-run their presidential election and may elect a leader who actually cares about his country and who wants to prevent the *sl*mic invasion.
And in France, Marine Le Pen will probably come second (or even first?) in the first round of their presidential elections. Though sadly she will most likely be defeated in the second round by a rotten, self-serving cabal of the left-wing and centrist establishment elites.
And to cap it all, there’s a good chance of Donald Trump defying the whole Goldman-Sachs-controlled US elitist establishment and becoming America’s next president.
Of course, this tide of protest against the politically-correct, progressive, liberal elites could turn. After all, virtually all media throughout the West is under the control of the progressive, liberal, *sl*mophiliac elites. But, for the moment, things just don’t seem to be working out the way our greedy, holier-than-thou, incompetent progressive, liberal elites planned
So, how are the self-righteous, morally-superior, politically-correct, know-it-all elites going to cope? And what can we do to help them overcome yet another series of disappointments?
Perhaps we should offer pre-emptive bereavement counselling to the supercilious, ever-superior, progressive, *sl*mophiliac elites so they can cope with the death of their dreams of replacing democracy with bureaucratic control of us pig-ignorant, unwashed masses and the interruption of their self-flagellating attempt to allow the *sl*mic takeover of our countries?
Or maybe there’s a therapy book they could read on how to deal with things suddenly not going their way?
I don’t know what the answer is.
But as Trump edges ever closer to the US presidency, spare a though for the Guardianistas and New-York-Timesers and all those who believe that the Brussels Broadcasting Corporation is the word of God incarnate.
Life is becoming tougher for the haughty, progressive, liberal elites.
Let’s all help them get through these difficult times.
Below is an attempt I’ve been making for years to report a suspected fraud to our useless NHS who always claim to be short of money.
The story is fairly self-explanatory: Over 100 construction companies investigated by the Office of Fair Trading were found to have conspired to massively inflate prices on public-sector contracts for new hospitals, schools and other buildings. The construction companies were given hefty fines. But on appeal, these were reduced to a pittance. Moreover, as far as I know, not a single hospital or school or local authority has demanded their money back from the construction companies that overcharged them.
Why not? Because they’re all in this together. The elite 1% of politicians, business bosses, bankers and bureaucrats look after each other. Our politicians go to work for the companies they should be controlling; our supposed regulators are forever increasing their own budgets while doing little to no regulating; and business bosses loot the companies they are supposed to be running for their shareholders.
Britain is not a democracy. It has become a “Parasitocracy”.
Here’s my complaint to the department responsible for stamping out fraud in the NHS. As you would expect, no action has been taken and no action will ever be taken:
From: David Craig
Author:
PLUNDERING THE PUBLIC SECTOR
SQUANDERED
GREED UNLIMITED
THE GREAT CHARITY SCANDAL
Subject: Possible fraud and financial mismanagement at Bournemouth Hospital
I am a former elected governor of Bournemouth and Christchurch NHS Trust. I was concerned about the cost of a new hospital car park being built by a construction company called Kier Construction. I investigated and found that the hospital car park being built by Kier was around 40% more expensive per parking space than other hospital car parks built in Britain. The cost per parking parking space of the Bournemouth Hospital car park was around £7,800 compared to a cost of nearer £5,000 per parking space at other hospital car parks I studied.
This was strange as the Bournemouth Hospital car park was built in the depth of the recession (2009) when tens of thousands of building workers were losing their jobs and when building companies were desperate for work and yet the Bournemouth Hospital car park was more expensive than similar car parks built during the 2000-2007 Gordon Brown economic boom.
Other factors also seemed strange to me having spent more than 20 years as a management consultant working in over 100 public-sector and private-sector organisations and having written several books on public spending.
As far as I remember, the Bournemouth Hospital car park was built before planning permission was received for the use of the top floor for parking and for a period the top floor could not be used. Moreover, about 2 miles away from Bournemouth Hospital there is the Castlepoint shopping centre. The car park there was also built by Kier Construction and has had massive problems requiring constant reinforcing to prevent it collapsing and will have to be demolished and rebuilt. I attach a link to a newspaper article about the Castlepoint car park https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/11661285.Castlepoint_car_park_to_be_demolished_and_rebuilt_as_multi_million_plans_get_go_ahead/
So, it seemed odd to me that the Bournemouth Hospital should choose precisely the construction company that was responsible for such a disastrous car park at the Castlepoint shopping centre close by.
This made me suspicious that Kier were still involved in what is called ‘cover pricing. ‘Cover pricing’ occurs when a cartel of construction companies colludes and decides which company will get which contracts. They do this by the companies who are not intended to win the contract submitting higher prices than the company intended to win the contract. I attach a link to a BBC article about an Office for Fair Trading (OFT) investigation which found that 103 construction firms had been colluding in ‘cover pricing’ to force up the prices on public-sector contracts https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8268116.stm and here is a Daily Telegraph article about the OFT investigation which underlines that the price-rigging took place mainly on contracts for schools and hospitals https://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/constructionandproperty/6216928/OFT-fines-103-construction-firms-129.5m-for-bid-rigging.html
The company which received the largest fine for this ‘cover pricing; collusion was Kier Construction.
At the time I had a contact within Kier Construction who gave me figures on car park construction costs and these confirmed that Bournemouth Hospital Trust had paid Kier around £100 per square foot whereas the cost of a multi-storey car park should have been in the region of £60 per square foot whereas an office building typically cost around £110 per square foot. According to my source, the Bournemouth Hospital car park should only have cost around £2.94m and not the £5.3m that was paid to Kier Construction.
I brought my concerns to the attention of the Bournemouth and Christchurch Hospital Trust chief executive in the expectation that he would investigate whether the hospital had been fooled by ‘cover pricing’ into believing there had been real competition for the contract to build the car park and had thus overpaid. However, instead of acting on the information I provided, the chief executive seemed to me to have refused to investigate and instead sent me a letter informing me that “It is important going forward that you work within the auspices of the role defined for a Governor and in accordance with the Code of Conduct we have set out”.
Given this I felt I could no longer remain as a Governor and so resigned.
I don’t accuse the chief executive of corruption. But I do suspect there is ample evidence that he and the management team were duped by the construction industry’s ‘cover pricing’ cartel into paying £5.3m for a hospital car park that should have cost (according to my source within Kier Construction) only around £2.94m. And I believe that the hospital chief executive should have investigated my suspicions about Kier Construction overcharging the hospital by around £2.36m especially given that an Office for Fair Trading investigation had concluded that ‘cover pricing’ had been widespread (103 construction companies) throughout the British construction industry on public-sector contracts for schools and hospitals.
I therefore feel that hospital management has been delinquent by not investigating this issue and that this failure constitutes financial mismanagement.
I hope you will take up this matter and hopefully act to recover for Bournemouth Hospital the millions that believe the Bournemouth and Christchurch Hospital Trust was overcharged by Kier Construction.
Yesterday, the useless, always-wrong IMF issued yet another of its utterly worthless forecasts. The IMF, of course, claimed that Brexit (which hasn’t happened yet and probably won’t happen for about two years) will negatively affect UK economic growth. Just like former Goldman Sachs banker Carney and all the other establishment elites, the IMF is trying to trash economic confidence in order to prove they were right to claim Brexit would be an economic disaster:
In fact, the FTSE100 is at the highest it has been for months reducing the deficits on many British pension funds and the fall in the previously overvalued pound will do wonders for British exports and the British tourist industry. We’re already seeing some benefits of Brexit – it’s my limited understanding that Tata Steel has recently delayed the sale of its Port Talbot plant because the pound’s fall has made it more competitive thus potentially saving thousands of well-paid, skilled British jobs.
It seems that the establishment’s ‘Project Fear’ is still alive and well even though the facts on the ground suggest that Brexit is actually having a beneficial effect on the British economy.
I’m sure we all know that this latest IMF ‘forecast’ will turn out to be just as misguided as almost everything coming from the Goldman-Sachs-dominated IMF.
But that got me thinking about other forecasts that have been monumentally wrong. For example, I just came across a wonderful article from the Guardian earlier this year where the great newspaper predicted Donald Trump’s likelihood of securing the Republican nomination as being between 0% and 2%. Ooops!
Though the consensus at the same time of US pollsters, who probably know more about their country than the Guardian, was that Trump actually had about a 17% chance of winning the Republican nomination:
Again, ooops!!
The US polls also suggested that Trump had a 7% chance of winning the Presidency. Hey, I’m no forecaster, but I’d put Trump’s chances at more like 70% against Goldman Sachs’s well-paid stooge Crooked Hillary Clinton.
And finally, I saw this photo of the latest Hyde Park riots in London yesterday:
If any reader can spot something odd about this picture of multi-cultural Britain, they must be even more racist than me.
In my blog I try to always write what I see as the truth. Often, I give a side to a story that contradicts the lies we are fed by the progressive, liberal, politically-correct, hand-wringing, *sl*mophiliac mainstream media.
Of course, not everyone will agree with what I write. But if people disagree with me, they are free to provide an alternative viewpoint or just stop reading my blog altogether and stick with the Guardian and the Brussels Broadcasting Corporation to deliver their ‘truth’ to them.
However, some people seem to lack the ability to put together a cogent point of view and explode into expletives when their narrow (and usually misguided) ideas are contradicted.
Here’s an email I received yesterday from someone who either works at or is a student at Kingston University in London. Though, from this person’s doubtful articulacy, I suspect Kingston University is just some jumped up polytechnic full of thickos who can hardly read or write and few of whom could ever have got into a real university.
Here’s the email:
From: YOU’RE A CUNT K0810744@KINGSTON.AC.UK
Message: CRAIG, YOU ARE FUCKING RACIST CUNT, GET A JOB YOU FAT FUCKING TARD. HYPOCRITE BASTARD LIVING OFF BENEFITS AND BLAMING YOUR MISERY ON MORE INTELLIGENT HARD WORKING PEOPLE. PINK SWINE BITCH
Just a few points:
1. I have worked hard all my life and been given nothing by my parents – my father died of cancer at 54 leaving our family with virtually nothing just before I went to university and my mother had to go and work as a shop assistant to survive
2. I do not ‘live off benefits’ and never have. I have always earned every penny I have spent or saved
3. The writer compares me to ‘more intelligent hard working people’. I wonder if he or she includes themselves in that group? If so, they might be more than deluded
4. I don’t ‘blame my misery’ on anyone. In fact, I believe I have had a very fortunate life and am in the process of buying a rather beautiful four-bedroom house. But I do believe there are issues in our society which need to be addressed. Hence the ten or so books I have written on subjects ranging from how management consultants fleece private companies and government departments, to government incompetence and waste, to exposing the corrupt, undemocratic European Union, to how to avoid getting ripped off by people who want to sell us stuff to the rottenness of our bloated £80bn-a-year charity industry
5. As for being a ‘pink swine bitch’ – there seems to be a confusion of ideas and insults in these three words. So, I’ll not bother answering the accusation
Anyway, if you disagree with the less than erudite opinions of ko810744@kingston.ac.uk you could always email them to point out that you feel they might be incorrect in their message to me.
Or if you agree with them that I am a ‘fucking racist cunt, fat fucking tard, pink swine bitch’ feel free to email them congratulating them on their perceptive and accurate insights.
(here’s most of a piece from a U.S. publication called the City Journal)
No more flags of foreign countries posted on Facebook in a spirit of solidarity. No more empathic Twitter hashtags. No more empty statements by heads of government declaring that “the terrorists have failed in their effort to turn us against one another”. No more equally empty statements by other heads of government expressing their own country’s support for “our ally in its time of grief”. No more calls for love in the face of hate, or candlelight processions as a response to murder. No more clicking of tongues and shaking of heads over the horrible loss of life—as if people had died in a one-off natural disaster, a hurricane or tornado or tsunami—followed, after a few days, by a return to normal. Until the next time, of course.
No more attempts to psychologically analyze every new jihadist—to probe his troubled family or professional life in an attempt to figure out what “turned him to violence and extremism”. No more reflexive reassurances that “this has nothing to do with Islam”, that a handful of bad guys have “hijacked” a “peaceful” faith, and that “the great majority of the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims are, of course, peace-loving people who utterly reject this kind of action”.
No more slick pivoting to the subject of gun control, or American homophobia, or whatever other diversion seems useful under the specific circumstances. No more blaming of Europeans’ supposed failure to accept or embrace or integrate or employ Muslims, or of Muslims’ alleged poverty or hopelessness or frustration or alienation.
No more hand-wringing by journalists, as they stand mere yards from the bodies of the dead, about the possible “backlash” against Muslims (which never really materializes). No more declarations by U.S. officials that the mere mention of Islam in connection with Islamic terrorism is “dangerous” and “counterproductive” because it “alienates” the Muslim allies and Muslim communities whose help we need in fighting this problem that we dare not properly name. No more respectful TV interviews with representatives of “Muslim civil-rights organizations” that have been proven over and over again to be fronts for terrorism.
No more outrageous lies by government and media that, almost fifteen years after 9/11, keep so many Americans so outrageously in the dark about the world in which we live now. No more of the despicable day-to-day efforts by the same actors to keep those Americans who do get it in line, to instill in them an unholy fear that, if they dare to address the problem honestly, they’ll be thrust forever out into the dark—beyond the realm of decent society, unacceptable, unemployable, unfriendable. No more societal tyranny by those who (because they’re cowardly, or feel powerless, or have no sense of responsibility to preserve the precious gift of freedom that their own forebears fought and died for and have bequeathed them, or are, inconceivably, unconcerned about the world their own children and grandchildren will inhabit) treat as enemies not those who seek to destroy them but those who dare to speak the truth about it.
In the years after 9/11, major acts of Islamic terrorism in the West seemed to come along every year or so, leaving plenty of time in between to go back to pretending that everything was fine and to resume mouthing benign platitudes. Now they’re happening so often, one right on top of the other, that we can hardly keep track of them. The only upside is that it’s getting harder and harder to maintain that pretense.
The time for shock is over. The time for heaping up flowers and candles and stuffed animals at the sites of atrocities is over. The lies and ignorance and cravenness must end, and the simple facts must be faced. The free, civilized West has, for years now, been the target of a war of conquest—a war waged in many forms (of which terrorism is only one) by adherents of a religion that preaches submission, intolerance and brutality, and our leaders and media, with few exceptions, continue to play a game whose fatuity, fecklessness, and pusillanimity have become increasingly clear.
(weekend blog) Judging by the British mainstream media, since the Brexit vote we’ve all become racists and have been abusing and attacking foreigners. There was someone who handed out some leaflets saying something like “Poles go home!” and I think a woman shouted something at a M*sl*m woman in a hijab or burkha or Darth Vader party costume or whatever. But I struggled to find any real examples of foreigners or M*sl*ms actually being attacked and injured in Britain.
However, searching the Internet, I finally did find a real *sl*mophobic attack. Though I had to go to the US to find it? What happened, you may ask. Was a mosque burnt down by screaming white racists? No. Did some crazy KKK rednecks start shooting at M*sl*ms? No. What happened was someone threw some eggs at a M*sl*m woman who was out shopping:
The horror! The Horror!
But wait a minute. Was she killed? No. Was she injured? No. Though a few eggs were wasted.
Now let’s look at *sl*mophilia – the deliberate attempt by the progressive, liberal elites to cover up and excuse any atrocity carried out by adherents of the Religion of Peace.
As you can imagine, even before the Nice slaughter, there was no shortage of atrocities committed by our M*sl*m friends – the rape pandemic in Germany, Britain and Sweden; the tens of thousands massacred by ISIL (rapes, crucifixions, beheadings, burning to death etc); the attacks in Paris, Madrid, London, Brussels, Mumbai and now Nice and so on. Though at least these are so horrific that they are reported by the mainstream media.
But where *sl*mophilia really rears its ugly head is in the deliberate policy of the elites to deceive us about the scale of violence against non-M*sl*ms around the world. We seldom hear about the murders of Buddhists by M*sl*ms in Southern Thailand and Myanmar. Or the rape and murder of Hindus in India and Kashmir. Or the abduction of Christian girls in Pakistan. The girls are then forced to convert to *sl*m and married off to Pakistani M*sl*m men as their slaves. If the family protests or reports the abductions to the police, a couple of family members are usually threatened, beaten or killed. And the Arab/Israeli conflict is too frequently described as a couple of million nasty, bloodthirsty Israelis brutally oppressing 700 million wonderful, peace-loving, highly-educated, hardworking Arabs.
Or we could look at Egypt. Hundreds of Coptic Christians are being killed there every year and Western leaders and the progressive liberal media and elites look the other way while telling us plebs that “*sl*m is a religion of peace”.
Here are a few pictures showing what happened to one and a half million Armenian Christians at the hands of Turkish M*sl*ms in 1916 and what happens 100 years later to those who aren’t sufficiently M*sl*m in 2016:
And here are some more pictures of ‘modern’ *sl*m:
So, let’s compare the pictures. There’s *sl*mophobia in the US – a few eggs being thrown. Or today’s rapes, beheadings, crucifixions and suchlike. Then you can judge which is worse.
Normally the purpose of the blog is to provide an alternative to the mainstream media by trying to expose the lies, deception, stupidity and greed of the ruling elites and the ‘progressive’, ‘liberal’ Islamophiliacs. But today, I thought I’d take time out from throwing rocks to give four reasons why I’m mildly optimistic about Brexit actually happening:
1. The worst lying, treacherous scum are gone
We must all surely breathe a huge sigh of relief that Cameron and Osborne – the two leaders of the lying, ‘Project Fear’ europhiliac traitors, who wanted to hand over control of our country to Germany to further their own lousy careers – are gone.
2. May was the only possible PM
When you look at the alternatives – Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Andrea Leadsom – you can see that Theresa May was the only credible possible Prime Minister. Moreover, she is experienced, she is hard-working and she is tough. She could lead a successful Brexit negotiation unlike the piece of lying garbage Cameron who lied and lied and lied during his pre-referendum supposed ‘negotiation’.
3. May has painted herself into a corner
When Theresa May announced her candidature for Prime Minister, the Brexiteer – Andrea Leadsom – was still in the race. So, May had to show her pro-Brexit credentials. With her three promises – “Brexit means Brexit”; “there will be no second referendum” and “there will be no General Election till 2020” – she’s going to find it awfully difficult to backtrack and walk away from leading the country to Brexit
4. Some genuine eurosceptics are in place
There are two key figures in the coming Brexit negotiations – David Davis leading the negotiations and Liam Fox in charge of trade. Both are genuine eurosceptics and both have been eurosceptic for years. They’re unlikely to allow a May government to run from it’s promise to deliver a reasonable Brexit.
Conclusion
Of course, May has her faults – uncontrolled immigration being the most glaring. And, of course, we Outers won’t get everything we want – May’s accepting attitude to the farcical European Court of Yuman Rights is worrying. But given the massive power of the elitist establishment politicians, bankers and big business all conspiring to betray our country, it is extraordinary that more than 17 million people dared defy their rulers to vote Out and it is extraordinary that we so quickly and so painlessly have a government in place that can actually take us out.
Things might have been better than they are for Brexit. But they also could have been an awful lot worse.
That’s why I’m mildly optimistic about Brexit.
Footnote: As for Theresa May’s interesting decision to make Boris Johnson foreign secretary, here’s my personal message to all the European leaders who are criticising and even scoffing at the decision – “you put a useless drunk – Juncker – from a country the size of Leicester in charge of the EU’s 500+ million people. Compared to that stupidity, appointing Boris Johnson as foreign secretary looks like a piece of genius”.
I was almost nauseated yesterday listening to the lying, treacherous PR skiv Cameron boasting about his supposed ‘achievements’ as Prime Minister.
So, let’s take the main four lies lying liar Cameron came out with yesterday:
1 Saved the British economy by bringing down the deficit
Yup, it’s true that the deficit has fallen under the Coalition and then the Tory Government of 2015 to 2016. But what greasy spiv Cameron never seems to mention is our national debt. Under Cameron this has risen from around £750bn in 2010 to over £1.5trn now. We are now paying about £60bn a year in interest on our national debt. This is more than we pay for either education or defence. We are sitting on a ticking debt bomb. If interest rates ever rise, our debt interest could easily hit £100bn a year – almost what we pay for the NHS.
2 Legalised Same-Sex Marriages (SSMs) because “it’s the right thing to do”
In May 2013, you might have noticed an almost unseemly rush in both the British and French parliaments to legalise SSM. What a coincidence that two major EU countries were doing this at almost exactly the same time! So, here’s the real explanation why both countries are hurrying to legalise SSM:
One of the human rights guaranteed by the European Convention on Human Rights is Article 8 – “The right to respect for private and family life”. Just so you know“Private Life “ includes “relationships between homosexuals and their partners with or without children”. Thankfully, for the moment, the Convention makes clear that: “Private life does not extend to the relationship between an owner and his pet”. Though, that could (and probably will) change in the future.
The European Court of Human Rights had already announced that SSM would be a “human right”, as soon as a few countries had legalised it. By 2013 SSMs were already legal in Belgium, Denmark, Netherlands, Portugal, Spain and Sweden. So the ECHR decided that “the recognition in national law of same-sex relationships had, by our present day, reached a degree that justified a broader understanding of family life as that term is used in Article 8 of the Convention”.
The British Government along with several other governments were committed to “full implementation” of this policy no later than June 2013. That’s why SSM laws were rushed through in several EU countries including Britain and France.
Cameron didn’t legalise SSMs because he wanted to. He was forced to by his bosses in Brussels
3 Increased foreign aid
Yes, idiot Cameron did increase foreign aid from around £7.5bn a year to about £12.5bn. But what Cameron doesn’t mention is that we don’t have this money. We have to borrow it. Then we have to pay interest on it every year, leaving less money for public services in Britain. And, one day, our children and their children will have to pay this money back. Moreover, most of our money goes nowhere near those who need it. Instead, as I have hopefully shown in my book THE GREAT CHARITY SCANDAL and in my short YouTube video (link below) it gets stolen by Africa’s corrupt, kleptocratic rulers. Moreover, just this increase in foreign aid of £4.6bn a year would have been enough to pay for the 32,400 police and 39,000 military who were sacked by Osborne in order to save money.
4 “I love my country and am proud to have served it”
Cameron must have a very short memory. He was forced into his EU In/Out Referendum by Farage and UKIP. He conducted sham negotiations with his EU bosses (Germany’s Merkel) where he asked for virtually nothing and got even less. Then he tried every dirty trick he could think of as part of his ‘Project Fear’ to cow us into handing over control of our once great country to corrupt, unelected Brussels bureaucrats controlled by our arch enemy Germany
No, Cameron. You are not a patriot and you loathe your country – its traditions, its history and its achievements. I suspect you did a dirty little deal with Merkel whereby, if you delivered a ‘Remain’, she would let you become the next head of the EU Commission or some such juicy Brussels sinecure.
Cameron, you are a greasy liar, you are a traitor and when your attempt to sell Britain down the river for your own personal gain failed, you had to go.
Good riddance!
(and, for those who haven’t seen it, here’s my short video showing what really happens to much of our foreign aid)
I get really tired of all the fad diets that come and go without making any difference to the weight of the suckers who spend so much time and money trying to follow them.
So, today I want to introduce you to a diet that really works. It’s the Kim Jong Un’s “Peepur Diet”.
Kim Jong Un, or ‘Fatboy’ as he’s not called by his reluctantly adoring subjects, is the inventor of the “Peepur Diet”. Though it is based on some ideas put together by his glorious father Kim Jong Il which resulted in the starvation and deaths of a couple of million people:
Thanks to Kim Jong Un’s “Peepur Diet” North Korea boasts the lowest rate of obesity in any country in the world. In fact, there’s only one fat person in the whole of North Korea – none other than the inventor of the “Peepur Diet” Kim Jong Un himself:
You might find it a bit odd that the creator of this diet is the one who refuses to follow it. But when you consider the sacrifice he’s making, that he’s willing to be fat so the rest of his people can be skinny, you can only admire his dedication and his concern for his people’s health and well-being.
So, here it is – Kim Jong Un’s “Peepur Diet”:
Step 1: Give all your food to the Great Leader of your glorious country. Step 2 [optional]: Eat tree bark, sawdust, grass etc:
Step 3: In the unlikely event of you still being hungry, eat any animals or insects you can find. Rats are particularly nutritious, but hurry, there aren’t many left. Though there are still quite a few cockroaches and they’re nice and crunchy, just like pork scratchings (though you probably don’t know what those are) Step 4 [illegal]: For exercise, try travelling to other countries on foot to escape starvation. Get caught and put in hard Labour camp till you die – from beatings and/or starvation
A few years on the North Korean diet and even you closest family and friends won’t recognise you:
So, try it today. Kim Jong Il’s “Peepur Diet”!
The best way to lose weight and stay thin (unless, of course, you’re Kim Jong Il himself)
David Craig, on July 22nd, 2016
