Yippeee! For Westminster’s botty-botherers it’s carry on buggering

Don’t our politicians look so statesmanlike and serious and dignified when announcing how concerned they are about the need ‘to get to the bottom of Westminster’s botty-botherers botty-bothering’? If I wasn’t such a cynic, I’d almost believe they meant what they said. After all, the resplendent Theresa May announced not one but two enquiries. What great leadership! What courage to ‘leave no stone unturned’ in the search for the truth!

But when you look more closely at the small print, you realise that pompous, self-righteous Cameron and May and other scumbags of their ilk aren’t offering a hunt for the truth at all.

If I understand correctly, one of the enquiries will last for ten weeks and will only look at how sound were the conclusions of last year’s internal Home Office investigation, that nobody was responsible for anything especially the 114 missing files. This supposed ‘enquiry’ will not look at whether there were paedophilia, rape and other sexual abuse. It will not look at who was involved in paedophilia, rape and other sexual abuse. And it will not lead to exposure of the guilty or any criminal prosecutions. Basically, it won’t do anything. Nice one, Theresa! (click to see more clearly)

As for the other longer supposed ‘enquiry’, this will not look at whether there were paedophilia, rape and other sexual abuse in politics, the church, the BBC and other public-sector organisations. It will only look at how public bodies have dealt with allegations of child abuse and ‘what lessons can be learnt’ to protect potential victims in the future. Conveniently for our rulers, this second pathetic excuse for an ‘enquiry’ will not report till after the 2015 General Election. Moreover, it will not look at whether there were paedophilia, rape and sexual abuse. It will not investigate who was involved in paedophilia, rape and other sexual abuse. And it will not lead to exposure of the guilty or any criminal prosecutions. Another nice one, Theresa!

Oh come on, did you expect a government that includes self-confessed botty-bothering expenses-thieving (IMHO) garbage like LibDem David Laws to launch any real enquiries?

Enquiries my ass! You always have to look at the small print with today’s lying, thieving, over-paid, over-pensioned, self-serving repulsive politicians. These ‘enquiries’ are just smokescreens designed to cover up a whole series of cover-ups and for Westminster’s recidivist botty-botherers it’s ‘Carry On Buggering’.

As obedient journalists witter on about how these two supposed ‘enquiries’ will be led by ‘distinguished’ people with ‘unblemished records of public service’, our slimy rulers must really be laughing at our stupidity.