Two major new cover-ups announced by the government

It’s time to buy shares in companies manufacturing whitewash. After a flood of stories concerning paedophilia and sexual abuse by the high and the mighty, Home Secretary Theresa May has announced two major new enquiries/cover-ups into what did or did not take place. This is the same Theresa May who announced last year, after a ‘full and thorough’ Home Office investigation ‘leaving no stone unturned’ that nobody anywhere had ever had done anything wrong, that there was no evidence that the 114 lost incriminating files had been ‘lost’ on purpose and that the matter was closed.

Sadly for Theresa and her chums in the Establishment, the lurid stories just kept on coming and she’s been forced into an embarrassing U-turn launching not one but two new cover-ups to cover up what really happened and to cover up the people who covered up the original revelations of sexual abuse.

As for Dodgy Podgy David Cameron, who writes this guy’s speeches? They should be fired. When talking on TV about the alleged boy-buggering on an industrial scale by our rulers at a guest house in London, Cameron used the unfortunate words, “we’ve got to get to the bottom of this”. I’m sure heavy-weight former LibDem Cyril Smith and his partners in crime would heartily agree with that sentiment, though perhaps not in the way Dopey Dave intended.

The Establishment has a long and successful history of ‘full and thorough enquiries leaving no stone unturned’ which all seemed to have used extraordinary quantities of whitewash. There was the Hutton enquiry (IMHO cover-up) into the mysterious death (murder?) of Dr David Kelly. And there was the still unpublished Chilcott enquiry (IMHO cover-up) into the causes of the Iraq war started by the (IMHO) lies of Blair and his minions over Saddam’s WMDs that could allegedly be launched within 45 minutes. Tens of millions of pounds of our money have been squandered by these supposed ‘enquiries’ in order to fool us about what our leaders are really up to.

Like millions of others, you may be waiting with baited breath for the results of Cameron’s and May’s two new ‘wide-ranging full and thorough’ enquiries/cover-ups ‘leaving no stone unturned’. But there’s no need to wait. I can already predict the results. We’ll be told that it is possible that there have been events in the past which should not have happened, but that as so many years have passed it’s difficult to establish the exact truth and we’ll be assured that ‘important lessons have been learnt’ then everything will carry on as before.

And as we’re told nothing can be proved, here are the words used by Tim Fortescue, who was a government whip between 1970 and ’73, in a 1995 BBC documentary Westminster’s Secret Service. Fortescue said: “Anyone with any sense, who was in trouble, would come to the whips and tell them the truth, and say now, I’m in a jam, can you help? It might be debt, it might be… a scandal involving small boys, or any kind of scandal in which, erm er, a member seemed likely to be mixed up in, they’d come and ask if we could help and if we could, we did. And we would do everything we can because we would store up brownie points…and if I mean, that sounds a pretty, pretty nasty reason, but it’s one of the reasons because if we could get a chap out of trouble then, he will do as we ask forever more.”

“Important lessons have been learnt”? I don’t think so. The only lessons our rulers have learnt is that they need to be better at covering up who they’re screwing and how much of our money they’re stealing.

Oh, and if your children won’t eat their vegetables, here’s my suggestion on how to get them to do what you want: