June 2024

The immigration interview

With over 200,000 pieces of Third-World garbage pouring legally into our once great country every year and tens of thousands more rushing in illegally, I’ve tried to imagine what must happen when one of our (usually foreign-born and West-hating) immigration officers interviews some piece of possibly inbred, low-IQ, violent, intolerant, rape-obsessed scum applying for permanent residence in the UK.

Immigration officer: First can you tell me your name?

Interpreter (The would-be Brit has an interpreter because he claims he doesn’t speak any English. Moreover, the interpreter is a man because the migrant has refused a female interpreter as he believes women are as low as pigs and Jews): Mohammed Ali Mohammed Ben Ali

Immigration: And how old are you Mohammed?

Interpreter: He’s 27 (gets interrupted by Mohammed who speaks no English)….what? No, sorry, he’s 17.

Immigration: What year was he born?

Interpreter: (Confers with Mohammed Ali Mohammed Ben Ali) He was born in 1990

Immigration: Oh, well, let’s put down ’17’ then. That makes life easier for all of us (Mohammed nods enthusiastically even though he pretends not to speak or understand English)

Immigration: Which country are you from Mohammed?

Interpreter: Ethiopia (he gets interrupted by Mohammed and then they both confer) He meant ‘Somalia’ (Mohammed shakes his head) No, he meant ‘Iraq’

Immigration: I see. Shall we just put down ‘Syria’ as that will speed things up? (Mohammed nods enthusiastically even though he pretends not to speak or understand English)

Immigration: In which town in Syria did Mohammed live? 

(Mohammed and interpreter urgently confer. Both look worried)

Interpreter: He doesn’t remember

Immigration: I understand completely Obviously a child of just 17 exposed to the horrors of war will be severely affected. I’ll just write ‘Damascus’ (Mohammed nods enthusiastically again even though he has never heard of ‘Damascus’)

Immigration: Can you ask Mohammed for his father’s name?

Interpreter: Mohammed

Immigration: No, his father’s name, not his name

Interpreter: His father is also called ‘Mohammed’

Immigration: And his mother’s name?

(Interpreter confers with Mohammed)

Interpreter: Which one?

Immigration: His mother, his father’s wife. What was her name?

Interpreter: Wife

Immigration: Yes, his father’s wife. What was her name?

(Interpreter confers with Mohammed)

Interpreter: His father had four wives. They were all called ‘wife’. His father just pointed at the wife he was talking to and if she didn’t do what she was told he beat her

Immigration: Um, let’s see. I have to write something. How about ‘Beatty’? (Mohammed nods in approval)

Immigration: Can you ask Mohammed if he has ever been a member of a terrorist organisation?

Interpreter: (Confers with Mohammed) What do you mean by ‘a terrorist organisation’?

Immigration: Well, the British National Party or Alternativ fur Deutschland or UKIP

Interpreter: No, Mohammed has only been a member of ISIL and Boko Haram and Al Qaeda

Immigration: So, I’ll just write ‘no’. Well that seems to be it. Mohammed, welcome to Britain. If you go to the Immigration Services Support Office they’ll issue you with residency papers and £500 to keep you going till they can get your benefits organised. Have you any questions?

(Interpreter confers with Mohammed)

Interpreter: Yes, Mohammed wants to know when he can go to school with young English girls and where he can get some shaving equipment. He hasn’t shaved since yesterday and his beard grows very quickly now that he is 17 years old……………………….

Oh, and look at this ludicrous and hideous Darth Vader impersonator from the Glorious Caliphate of Manhcheristan:

9 comments to The immigration interview

  • Gloria from Victoria

    We have to target the so called ‘aid-workers’ that promote and encourage these lying creatures to ‘flee’ to the UK and, more importantly, the misguided fools that give monies to these so called charities.

  • Son of a miner

    The scumbags!! Even after this attack they still play the victim..attacks on moslem women?? When? Where? The most theyve had to endure is a fearful look off us..maybe somebody has shouted something at them in a passing car..scumbags..that bugger talking about shairia..get lost!!! Islam is islam. No radical..same.same..

  • Another Miners son .

    All going to Plan by the Elite that rule us…

    At 248,000, net immigration to the United Kingdom in 2016 remains roughly two-and-a-half times higher than the Conservative Party promised in 2010, according to the latest Office for National Statistics (ONS) estimates.

    And this is how they did it…

    Hungarian PM: EU Ideology Has Seen ‘Free Movement of Illegal Migrants Replace Free Movement of Labour’

  • Another Miners son .

    Have I committed a hate crime by saying that I “HATE” the UK and what it has become? Never thought I would see the day I would say or even feel ,that but I genuinely do.

  • Son of a miner

    I dont think we,ll see real change until the cultural enrichment hits the middle classes. The backbone tax paying class..when this class of folk lives are impacted by mass immigration we may see real change but that,ll take years yet..lots more attacks and slow erosion of our culture..this election more of the same may or that commie corbyn

  • Another Miners son .

    Working Class folks will have to work till they die to pay for all this immigration.

    Retire at 70?

    While they sit around drinking tea ,talking about how bad we are..

    “Muslim women immigrants to Britain: Don’t tell us what we can and cannot do…. ”

  • Another Miners son .

    Just how much Bullshit do we have to take from our Politician’s.What total Crap.

    Schauble on Manchester Attack.

    The country’s rapidly growing Muslim demographic presents an “opportunity” for “Christians, and all who live in Germany”, Schäuble stated, adding: “We can learn from them.

    “Many human values are very strongly realised in Islam. Think of hospitality, and other things like, what is there… And also tolerance, I believe, for example.”

  • Another Miners son .

    If the Politicians want to know the source of all the problems, then all they need do is Look In The Mirror….

  • zx80

    Im wondering when/if the penny will drop for the political class?

    There will definitely be other attacks and a lot of entirely innocent folk are going to pay the ultimate price of this multicultural nirvana they keep on telling us is so “great”.
    While we’re on that subject, just what is it thats so damned “great” about all this diversity bullshit?
    I dont see it, all i see is a lot of different people, talking in languages i cant understand, acting in ways i cant figure and making me feel a minority in my own country, if thats not enough to radicalise someone then what is.

    In other news, police are busier investigating something Katie Hopkins said, rather than what some other ungrateful religious nutjobs are likely to DO.
    Makes you proud to be british dont it?
    Its high time the police stopped pissing about with what people say and deal with things theyre about to do to hurt people physically.
    This soft shit crybaby culture is starting to get annoying, harden the f*ck up.

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