Hey! You too can get an ADHD diagnosis

Wednesday-Thursday blog

If I remember correctly, one of the pathetic excuses given by the learned judge for not jailing the enriching repeat rapists was that one of them or all of them or whatever were suffering from the dreaded ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). But it seems that supposed ‘disabilities’ like self-diagnosed ADHD and PSTD and other such ‘horrific’ and ‘debilitating’ mental conditions are being used nowadays as excuses for people – expecilally celebrities, the bone idle and criminals – to avoid the consequences of their actions. For example, don’t many of the BBC’s best-known kiddy-fiddlers claim to be suffering from some made-up mental illness?

Dr Google tells us: ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain functions, particularly in areas regulating attention, focus, and impulse control. It generally involves persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity that can significantly impact daily functioning, work, and relationships.

An ADHD support website tells us: Common signs of ADHD include:

• feeling like you can’t sit still or are fidgety, especially in quiet spaces
• talking a lot and interrupting people
• finding it hard to focus for a long time
• finding it tough to wait your turn
• struggling to concentrate or getting distracted easily
• people thinking you’re not listening
• finding it hard to follow instructions
• feeling like you have to always change what you’re doing
• finding it tough to make or keep friends
• struggling to organise things or forgetting and missing important appointments

I suspect most of us have experienced these supposed ‘symptoms’ of ADHD at some times in our lives.

I don’t watch something called ‘TikTok’. But apparently TikTok is full of videos on how to get an ADHD diagnosis.

Moreover, there are websites offering fast on-line ADHD diagnoses. Here’s one:

• Adult ADHD Assessment From £550. NICE Approved, CQC registered. Skip The NHS Waiting List. Fast Online Appointment Within 48Hrs.

Or there’s another one. For £199 you get:

• Medical history screening
• 45-min smart clinical assessment
  (integrated anxiety, depression, ADHD review)
• 45-min diagnostic video evaluation
  (free extension if additional care is needed)
• Comprehensive clinical diagnostic report of assessment findings
• All delivered by GMC-registered medical doctors

After that you’re expected to pay a monthly fee of £99.

So, what are you waiting for? You too can get an ADHD or PTSD or whatever mental health diagnosis on-line and then, next time you get into trouble for anything you’ve said or done or if you can’t be arsed to get up in the morning to go to work or if you fancy a nice new car on the government’s motability scheme or you’d quite like a blue disability badge for your car to make parking in your local town centre or at the supermarket easier, you can just go onto TikTok or similar such sites, see how to be diagnosed with a ‘serious’ mental health condition, get your ‘everyone-can-have-one’ disability diagnosis and then wave your mental health ‘get out of jail free’ certificate.

So, don’t delay. It’s time for you to get a ‘mental health’ diagnosis. Everyone else seems to be doing it.