Is this Jess ‘Baldrick’ Phillips’s ‘cunning plan’?

Friday blog

There has been much kerfuffle about our noble government’s largely fictional ‘Child Grooming Gang’ inquiry. Some of the problems seem to revolve around the accusation that our UK-hating, migrant-adoring, Islamophiliac government is trying to “broaden” the inquiry.

But why would the government be trying to “broaden” the inquiry? And could this “broadening” actually be part of the (IMHO) hapless, charmless and slitheringly untrustworthy Jess ‘Baldrick’ Phillips’s cunning plan?

Here’s a suggestion as to how Baldrick’s cunning plan to “broaden” the inquiry might work:

• it has been well-established that the worst sexual abuse of underage white girls has been carried out mainly by Pakistani Religion of Peace and Tolerance men
• Labour is desperate to avoid any inquiry reaching this conclusion as Labour politicians, social workers and police bosses have spent decades covering this up as Labour is terrified of losing the sectarian Religion of Peace and Tolerance vote to new Religion of Peace and Tolerance candidates

So, what can Baldrick Phillips do? Most child sexual abuse occurs within families. Perhaps surprisingly the United Kingdom’s population is still predominantly White British (75.98% at the 2021 Census). Though, of course, the LibLabCon Party is doing everything it can to make White British a minority in their own country by around 2060. The second and third largest non-white racial groups are Asian British at 8.6% of the population, followed by Black British people at 3.71%.

Thus if Jess ‘Baldrick’ Phillips can “broaden” the inquiry away from the rampaging Religion of Peace and Tolerance rape gangs to include all child sexual abuse, suddenly we will find that the majority of child sexual abuse is carried out by White British men and not by our friends and neighbours from our favourite religion.

Hey presto! It’s magic! Brilliant! Well done Baldrick Phillips! By “broadening” the inquiry you’ve just managed to “prove” that White men carry out most of the child sexual abuse in our once great, but now Third-world, country and that our friends from our favourite religion are blameless compared to those nasty abusive White men. And that means our friends from our absolute favouritest religion can keep on importing their charming and colourful cultural practices into our country to enrich our young British girls and, more importantly for Jess ‘Baldrick’ Phillips and her chums, will keep on voting Labour.