Hillary’s pledges to the American people?

Just what exactly is Hillary Clinton promising to do when she becomes president? After all, the foul-mouthed witch has changed position, lied so frequently and given so many different promises to different groups (the poor, bankers, immigrants, bearded maniacs etc), that it’s difficult to work out what (if anything apart from her own thirst for power and money) she stands for.

Fortunately, I have managed to get hold of Hillary Clinton’s victory speech when she finally does win the presidency. Yes, this top-secret document has been handed to me and me alone.

So, before any other commentator has any idea of what President Hillary will do, I alone can cut through all the smoke, heat and noise of Crooked Hillary’s campaign to list the ten most important things that the USA’s next President, Hillary Clinton, will do to (sorry, I meant ‘for’) America.

Here are some brief extracts from crooked, lying Hillary’s victory speech:

I, Hillary Rodham Clinton, solemnly pledge that as your president I will:

1. Phone Goldman Sachs immediately I am elected to get my masters’ orders on what policies I should adopt to help bankers become ever richer at the expense of ordinary people
2. Phone George Soros to get his guidance on how best to destroy American society by swamping our once great country with the worst violent, illiterate, benefits-scrounging, unemployable scum in the world
3. Open America’s borders and bring in so many democrat-voting M*sl*m and South American migrants that white people will rapidly become a minority and there will never again be a republican president
4. Make any criticism of black people, of other ethnic minorities and, of course, of adherents of the Religion of Peace hate crimes while legalising and encouraging all criticism of white, racist American trash
5. Try to provoke an unnecessary conflict with Putin’s Russia in order to distract people from the fact that *sl*m is America’s real enemy
6. Help *sl*mofascist Iran get nukes so that the mad mullahs can finally wipe democratic Israel from the map and turn Israeli territory into a barren, excrement-covered wilderness like most of the other countries in the Middle East
7. Make it almost impossible for American energy companies to drill for shale gas in the USA and block the Alaska pipeline so that America once again becomes dependent for its energy on the Arab sh*tholes which have donated so much money to my very own personal piggy bank – the Clinton Foundation

8. Massively increase the billions that America pours into the bank accounts of corrupt Third-World despots ostensibly to help their countries combat the effects of the ludicrous myth of man-made climate change

9. Hugely increase foreign aid to Africa’s bloodthirsty, murderous, thieving rulers so they can all become multi-billionaires while their ever-growing populations are condemned to lives of misery, poverty, disease and early death

10. Make it more difficult for violent, racist white Americans to buy guns to protect their families while, at the same time, making it easier for crazed, inbred, bearded lunatics to enter America and kill American citizens.

These are my pledges! These are what I stand for!

Together we will make Americanistan into a corrupt, stinking, overcrowded, violent, Third-World hell-hole!

I thank you all for voting for me!!!!!

I thank you all for voting for the destruction of all that was once great with America!!!!!!