Slimey Simon’s “fiX-Factor” hits America

Slimey Simon Cowell’s supposed talent show the “fiX-Factor” has just started in the USA. Appropriately enough it’s on one of Uncle Rupert Murdoch’s TV channels. Rupert Murdoch is one man you can trust to bring honest TV, isn’t he? The fiX-Factor’s US formula is just the same as in Britain. First there are a couple of good acts; then come the fools and the freaks and then the show ends with someone who has a terrible sad story to tell about their pointless life and how they have overcome trials and tribulations to come on the show. There is also carefully manufactured “conflict” between Simon and the other male judge. Meanwhile the two female judges are reduced to teary admiration at the “good” acts and wide-eyed shock at the freaks.

But best of all (for Slimey) the Americans are so stupid that they don’t realise that the whole thing is probably a fix. Yipee! billions more into Slimey Simon’s bank account. If only he paid British tax on his rapidly increasing fortune then our national debt would be wiped out after just a few US fiX-Factor series.