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Is my dog *sl*mophobic?

As British M*sl*ms react with the usual foam-flecked fury to a very reasonable and moderate letter sent to British mosques by government ministers Eric Pickles and Lord Ahmed asking imams to do more to counter extremism in their communities, I gave my cross-breed mutt a simple test. I gave him two words – “Democracy” and “*sl*m” – and asked him to quickly write down what he associated with each of these two words.

With “Democracy” everything went fine. Here are the results:

democracy

But when it came to “*sl*m” the stupid beast could only come up with negatives:

islam word association

As punishment for his ignorance, I’ve sent my dog on a 3-day “Cultural Awareness for Canines” course run by my local council to help British dogs adapt to life in the glorious multi-cultural Britain our rulers are creating for us without having asked our permission.

When the dumb animal gets back from his training course, I’ll be giving him another test of his political correctness. And this time he’d better have shown some improvement in his cultural awareness.

But, in the meantime, if you’d like to help my dog, click on the title of this blog and in the box put in all the positive things that you can think of that “*sl*m” has contributed to Britain.

You see, when I tried to help my dog, I couldn’t think of any either.

(Incidentally, a phobia is defined as ‘an irrational fear’. But if, like my dog, you believe that *sl*m is the greatest threat to civilisation and progress in the world today, then it is not ‘irrational’ to fear it. In fact, it is entirely rational. Therefore, ‘*sl*mophobia’ cannot exist)

8 comments to Is my dog *sl*mophobic?

  • BaronessBonkers

    .

  • Keen Reader

    Just as I’d finished reading this, I switched on my TV to view with my daily dose of caffeine the customary 3 minutes of world news followed by 25 of trivia which constitute the BBC’s morning offering.(R4’s “Today” is a different animal altogether – in fact it justifies the licence fee!)
    The first item I saw was footage of a somewhat tatty “Citizenship Ceremony”, consisting of a group of a dozen or so immigrants, the majority obviously of Middle-Eastern origin, who had jumped through the requisite hoops, including presumably passing the rudimentary language test, and were singing the National Anthem in front of a photo of the Queen, having just group-read some sort of declaration of honest intent. So far, so good – provided that, having become UK citizens, they do not turn into Jihadists overnight and then claim citizenship rights when attempts are made to deport them! What really made me choke over my croissant was the medal with which the new citizens were presented, stating that the UK “celebrates cultural diversity.” Now I have been a UK citizen since birth, as were my parents, all my grandparents, and theirs before them. I do NOT “celebrate cultural diversity”. In fact I deplore it and the evils it has brought into my country. As does the rest of my family. As do all my neighbours and friends. No one ever asked any of us ordinary folk whether we wanted it. So, David, I am with your dog! He and I my friends, neighbours and family are not “phobic” – our fears of the expansion of the Religion of Peace and its barbaric practices are only too real.

  • MMW

    Keen Reader – Great comment. Absolutely with you..

  • Bernard from Bucks

    A few positive things –
    24 hour surveillance, Politically correct language, intensive security at airports, invasive security in other public places. Prosecutions for trivial ‘offences’. Ritually slaughtered meat in hospitals, schools and prisons,

    Oh, and I nearly forgot – Peace.

    This must be true, Cast Iron Dave told me so?

  • brian

    An upward surge in the sales of ski masks and blunt fruit knives has to be good for the economy as well as cheap flights to Turkey. Ryanair are putting on new routes to meet demand.

  • Juliet 46

    I’m wondering whether to make a complaint about Diversity – in Sheffield on Saturday, 11.50pm, travelling with Husband and Border Collie) I was advised that the taxi-drivers of the first two companies (largest ones) I called were all allergic to dogs.

    Does this pose a health-risk – what would happen if, travelling without my dog, but with a few canine hairs still clinging to my clothing, the driver had an allergic reaction, and subsequently crashed?

    Would I be liable for damages?

  • MGJ

    When I first read your challenge I thought – come on, there must be ONE positive…mustn’t there?

    Floundering, I typed “benefits of multiculturalism” into Google. The only answers I could find were things like “increased diversity” and “different perspectives”.

    So there you have it. The positive side of multiculturalism is an increase in…well…multiculturalism.

  • NoMore

    Unfortunately Islum (sic) is taking advantage of our democracy to further theocracy.

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