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By  David Craig, on August 27th, 2012 As summer (what summer?) ends and our overpaid, overpensioned, expenses-thieving and mostly unnecessary politicians start to drift back from their 2-month holidays, the main political journalists are busy blethering on about what changes David Liar Cameron needs to make to his government. After over two catastrophic years, journalists still write about ‘Cameron’s leadership’ and ‘Osborne’s economic policies’ and ‘Clegg’s principles’.
What planet are these journalists on? Don’t they understand that Cameron is a lying, shallow, incompetent PR spiv who is utterly despised by most of the country? Can’t they see that Osborne is a liar and fool, who is completely out of his depth, hasn’t got a clue and is driving Britain into an unnecessary recession because of his arrogance and stupidity? Don’t they realise that Clegg is just Barroso’s whore – a slimy, self-serving, lying piece of garbage who will do anything to advance his own lousy little career and would be happy to sell Britain out to the EU if this would get him a nice sinecure as an EU commissioner?
Our journalists write and talk as if our politicians have any credibility. Yet the rest of us can see that this Government is one of the most incompetent, greedy, self-serving bunch of crooks and knaves that have ever been in power and that most people feel nothing but contempt and disgust at the lies and bungling that seems to so impress our useless, sycophantic political journalists.
By David Craig, on August 26th, 2012 After yet another dismal summer, we once again hear that Britain’s seaside towns are suffering and their businesses are going bankrupt. But they’ve only themselves to blame for their decline. Imagine you were a slide-rule manufacturer when pocket calculators were first introduced. What do you do? Try to build better slide rules? Or change your business to adapt to new technologies and new consumer tastes?
For fifty years Britain’s seaside towns have been outcompeted by foreign package holidays which offer guaranteed sun, better food and better service at lower prices. So what have our seaside towns done? Not much. A few have added some supposed ‘attractions’ – basically taking the ‘build a better silde rule’ approach. Completely hopeless. Yet Britain’s seaside towns have a huge amount to offer if they were smart enough to adapt their business model.
Take Bournemouth. It has got miles of beaches and country parks, good schools and a four-bedroom house with a large garden costs about the same as a one-bedroom flat in London or a two-bedroom flat in other cities. Plus a commute in Bournemouth is five to ten minutes. What towns like Bournemouth can offer is a much better quality of life to any businesses prepared to leave London or our other cities. This is a huge new market for Britain’s seaside towns – businesses that want to give their employees a better quality of life. So what does Bournemouth’s useless council do? Does it adapt and target this new market? No way. Instead the council wastes millions on new attractions – a dance centre (yawn), an artificial surf reef that only works about four days a year and so on.
Britain’s seaside towns are dying. But thy are dying because they have failed to identify and target a huge new market. Instead they keep on wasting millions trying to ‘build a better slide rule’ when the slide rule market is dead and gone forever. They have only themselves and their stupid, unimaginative councillors to blame for their decline.
By David Craig, on August 25th, 2012 A small but hugely important story has just broken. A company called Mouchel (I think it runs motorway maintenance) has just gone into administration due to the utter incompetence of the company’s executives. Helped by vultures at KPMG and Goldman Sachs (fees £18m and rising), Mouchel’s bosses are using the bank holiday weekend to close the company down, deprive shareholders of their investments and then restart the company again next week 80% owned by the company’s banks and 20% owned by the incompetent bosses who destroyed the company in the first place. The banks, KPMG, Goldman Sachs and the bosses will make millions – the stupid fools who bought shares lose everything. And those stupid fools who lost everything are you and I, because the people who owned Mouchel shares are mainly the pension funds and unit trusts where ordinary people have about £1.3trn of their savings.
This is little different to massive fraud and similar situations are occurring at many other British companies – Findus, Birds Eye, Barchester Homes, Manchestert United, Punch Taverns, MG Rover and many more – executhieves playing all kinds of financial games to make themselves and their cronies rich while looting the companies they are running. This is why only a madman or fool would buy shares in a British company today. Most are being ruined by the short-term greed of their executhieves.
And even in those companies that are surviving, their share prices go down as executhieve salaries go ever upwards, see diagram:
By David Craig, on August 24th, 2012 I don’t buy the claim that Lance Armstrong has been using illegal performance-enhancing drugs for the last seven or more years. The guy has been tested time and again and always found to be clean. Yet now, years after his many wins, two cyclists who have both been caught taking drugs have testified against Armstrong, probably to get more lenient treatment for themselves.
Looks like a case of some puffed-up regulator trying to make a big name for himself using US taxpayers’ money to persecute someone who can’t afford to waste any more money defending himself against a witch hunt. My admiration for Armstrong has hugely increased – he has basically told the regulator to get stuffed.
By David Craig, on August 24th, 2012 Congratulations to our wonderful Prince Harry for providing us all with some entertainment during these bleak economic times, which are getting bleaker by the day. I suspect strip pool will now become one of Britain’s most popular sports. Hopefully one day it will take its place alongside beach volleyball as an Olympic sport.
Meanwhile back in Britain our self-serving exam boards seem to have finally put an end to the annual grade inflation which has seen even the stupidest, most illiterate laziest pupils getting strings of top results even though many of them can neither read, write nor do simple arithmetic. Just to remind ourselves how easy GCSEs have become, here’s a question from a maths paper for British sixteen year-olds. I suspect that in most other developed countries eleven year-olds would be able to answer this.
By David Craig, on August 23rd, 2012 Just when you thought our MPs couldn’t do any more to increase the contempt in which most of us hold them, they’ve come up with a new scam. They want us taxpayers to pay for them to hire accountants to help them make the most of all the money they siphon off from us.
Our MPs get salaries of over £65,000 a year. Many pay another £30,000 to £40,000 to wives, children, lovers, partners, friends etc. They get over £100,000 a year tax-free in expenses. They do so little work for us that many have second, third, fourth and even fifth jobs earning them hundreds of thousands of pounds a year.
Moreover, we don’t need 650 MPs any more. With the EU and the regional assemblies making most of our laws, there’s actually very little for our MPs to do. The US has 435 members of Congress and 100 Senators for a population of over 250 million. We have 650 MPs and 750 peers for a population of just over 60 million. As they say – ‘go figure’.
Our greedy, unnecessary, lying, dishonest MPs are making fools of us all. But because we have a sycophantic, genuflucting press, our MPs will probably get away with their latest scam.
By David Craig, on August 22nd, 2012 As public spending continues to increase, public borrowing continues to increase and our debts get even larger, some people might be wondering how someone whose only proper job was folding napkins in Selfridges could rise to become Chancellor. Perhaps we can get some guidance from Gilbert and Sullivan’s HMS Pinafore where the head of the navy explains how he got his job:
When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an attorney’s firm
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor
And I polished up the handle of the big front door
He polished up the handle of the big front door
I polished up that handle so carefully
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy
He polished up that handle so carefully
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy
Seems to me, this perfectly sums up how the useless lying incompetent fool Osborne rose to become Chancellor. So here’s a reworking of the first verse:
When I was a lad I served a term
Folding napkins at a well-known firm
I folded napkins and I swept the floor
And I sold some bits and pieces at the well-known store
He sold some bits and pieces at the well-known store
I folded those napkins so carefully
That now I am the Ruler of the Treasury
He folded those napkins so carefully
That now he is the Ruler of the Treasury
By David Craig, on August 21st, 2012 Today the bodies of three soldiers killed in Afghanistan will be flown back to Britain. What did they die for? Um. To keep us safe from terrorism? I don’t think so? To build a free democratic Afghanistan? Pull the other one. To continue a pointless war that has gone on for longer than the First and Second World Wars trying to protect a corrupt, drug-dealing, puppet government that has stolen billions of our aid money to buy luxury homes in Dubai? Yes, I think that’s why they died.
What about our military leaders? Well they don’t care. They’re living lives of luxury at taxpayers’ expense. Over 400 of them get £87,000 a year each so they can live in huge houses. About 30 of these get a massive £150,000 a year to pay for things like servants and gardeners. The navy has 421 officers, including 41 Admirals, eighty Commodores and 300 captains for about 40 fighting ships. The RAF has 446 officers, including 26 Air Vice Marshalls, 90 Air Commodores and 330 Group Captains for less than 20 squadrons (about 820 planes). What do all these officers do all day? How can they find something to fill up their time?
Over the last 20 years, the number of ordinary soldiers, sailors and pilots has decreased, but the number of officers has increased. Our military bosses have become overpaid, underworked, overpensioned bureaucrats. Pointless, pompous shiny arses, just out to fill their own pockets with our money. Desperate to hang on to their positions and privileges. Self-serving, politically-subservient, sycophantic desk jockeys who don’t give a damn about the troops they so lucrativley command.
By David Craig, on August 20th, 2012 NHS bosses claim they are having to make cutbacks in medical services because of a lack of money. But the NHS gets twice as much as it did a decade ago. Plus it’s got £229bn in PFI hospitals. The real problem is that the NHS has wasted billions of our money on bureaucrats. Here’s a small example of the problem:
New Labour set up at least one new healthcare regulator each year it was in power, though 2004 was a bumper year with no fewer than three new regulators being imposed on us. In 2001, we got the National Patient Safety Agency – about £30 million a year and over three hundred staff. In 2002, there was the Nursing and Midwifery Council – about £24 million a year and two hundred and forty plus staff. In 2002 we also were given the NHS Confederation – £26.5 million a year. In 2003 the Health Protection Agency began work – £250 million a year and over three thousand staff. In the same year there was the Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency – £80 million budget and eighty staff.
In 2004 our healthcare bureaucrats hit the jackpot. In January, Monitor appeared on the scene – over £13 million a year. There was also the Healthcare Commission – £80 million a year and over five hundred staff. And not to forget the Commission for Social Care Inspection – £164 million and 2,335 staff.
I could go on. There are still a few more to come. But you probably get the picture by now. All these new bodies were apparently Blair’s and Brown’s way of fulfilling the pledge given in New Labour’s 1997 election manifesto, ‘the key is to root out unnecessary administrative cost and to spend money on the right things – frontline care’. Looking at what had actually happened, one commentator recently remarked, ‘of all the billions poured into the NHS, it is just sickening to see how much of it has been soaked up by this ever-expanding bureaucracy, particularly these quangos’.
Need I say more?
By David Craig, on August 19th, 2012 One reader of this website suggested we no longer have upper, middle and working classes in Britain any more and instead the British could be split into four main categories. Very slightly paraphrasing this person’s idea, I came up with:
TWITS: Those Who Inherited Their Swag (including royal family) – those we stupidly call lords and others who have never done any proper work. Waste of skin Prince Charles, liar Cameron and useless Osborne are perfect examples of this bunch of self-serving parasites.
TOABS: The Over-rewarded Arrogant Bastard Shower – rapacious bankers, underperforming overpaid business bosses, incompetent bureaucrats with big salaries and even bigger pensions, greedy, lying expenses-thieving politicians (local and national) and military leaders with houses, servants and other perks who live the high life while their troops get slaughtered propping up a corrupt, puppet government in Afghanistan. Most TOABS are not much good at what they do. But they do realise that their privileged positions are once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to stuff their pockets with other people’s money.
SCUM: Scrounging, Cunning, Unemployable Millions – who get what they don’t deserve, paid for by the fourth class of British people – the Useful Slaves who can be bothered to work. There are probably more than two million people in the SCUM group and they’re increasing by the day thanks to uncontrolled immigration into ‘Benefits Britain’ and the fact that we pay them to have children they can’t be bothered to educate or control
US: At the bottom of the pile are the Useful Slaves, who have to work and pay taxes to subsidise the comfortable lives of the TWITS, TOABS and SCUM. Note that this group does include many extremely rich people (who have earned it by doing something useful) and some extremely poor people (who don’t have much because what they do isn’t rewarded properly). Useful Slaves also include all our troops who have fought and been killed or maimed in ‘War Criminal’ Tony Blair’s pointless wars – wars where he didn’t think of sending his own children to fight.
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