Archives

October 2026
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

An urgent message to voters from the ruling ConLibLab elites

We need to act now to save our once great country! Our multicultural way of life is being threatened by these patriotic British UKIP upstarts. They rampage around our constituencies wanting nothing more than a better life for British citizens and their families. They want to put the interests of British people first above those of immigrants. They want us to leave the corrupt, wasteful, undemocratic EU where we British politicians and senior bureaucrats can get nice, well-paid, well-pensioned jobs. They want to impose their alien political incorrectness on us, stealing our electoral support and depriving us, the indigenous ruling class, of our right to stuff our own pockets and pretend to govern while really taking all our orders from Brussels.

Vast UKIP ghettos are  springing up all around the country, creating no-go areas for the depressingly few party workers we have left. Moreover, they just refuse to integrate. Their ways are completely different to ours. They tell the truth, for a start. And they listen to the concerns of ordinary people.

Moreover, many of these UKIP fruitcakes believe that Britain should control its own borders. Laughable! And they don’t believe in the ludicrous, discredited myth of man-made global warming. They are even opposed to the windfarms that we, the elite and our families, are erecting on our estates so we can siphon off millions more of taxpayers’ money for ourselves.

And now we’ve been told by our party leaders that we shouldn’t insult UKIP as, every time we do, their share of the vote goes up. It won’t be long before even the fools who normally vote for us – our core supporters – realise how we’ve been lying to them and ripping them off for years.

The UKIP problem needs to be dealt with urgently. Because, at the rate they’re multiplying, it won’t be long before we of the ConLibLab Party become a minority in our own great (for us) parliament.

The political establishment is ours. We’ve all got stinking rich from our huge salaries, fiddling our expenses, paying our wives, lovers and children as supposedly working as our assistants and doing lucrative second, third and fourth jobs on the side, while being generously paid to represent our gullible constituents. Help us keep our well-paid jobs. Help us run the country into the ground the way we always have. Believe all our lies and hypocrisies as we get rich at your expense. And if UKIP don’t like it, they can bugger off back to Great Britain where they came from.

Vote LibLabCon! Vote ConLibLab! Vote LabLibCon! Vote for the people who hold you in contempt and couldn’t give a damn about you.

(based on a reader comment in a national newspaper)

Has your doctor or dentist bought, or bribed their way to, their qualifications?

Someone I know is married to a woman from a developing country. She recently told me how proud she was that her brother, who still lived in that country, had passed his exams to go on a fast-track career stream in the police. “He had to work very hard”, she explained, “as he didn’t have the money to bribe the examiner”.

This brings up the issue that in many African, Asian and East European countries, where corruption is a way of life, people often bribe their way to or buy their qualifications rather than working for them. In India this year, four pilots have been caught with fake certificates and the police are investigating India’s 4,000 or so pilots to see how many others are not actually qualified to fly. It might be slightly worrying to find out that the only flying your pilot had done was on the simulator game on his X-Box.

Similarly in these countries, qualifying to become a doctor or dentist often depends more on how much cash is handed over, rather than knowledge or aptitude to do the job. At least one Nigerian “doctor” has been caught working in the NHS with qualifications bought in Moscow. Nobody knows how many other fake doctors and dentists are happily working in Britain. I know a Bulgarian dentist that botched one simple filling I had. I successfully sued her employer, but she’s still employed here, no doubt botching her way through many other NHS patients’ teeth.

So, when you get treated by a foreign doctor or dentist from the world’s most corrupt countries, if they got their qualification in Britain, you can probably be confident they know what they’re doing. But if they’ve done their education at Kampala University Hospital or the Mogadishu Institute for Dental Excellence or the Lagos Medical School, you could be forgiven for wondering whether they qualified through hard work or through a pile of money in a brown envelope.

Who served Britain best? Margaret Thatcher or Baroness “the pig” Ashton?

A constant theme of this site is that, in the last 30 or so years, there has been a massive change in the attitudes and rewards of those in power over us – business bosses, bankers, politicians, bureaucrats and eurocrats. Whereas many in the last generation may have genuinely tried to serve their companies or their country for quite modest rewards, today’s leaders only seem interested in clinging to their positions in power in order to massively enrich themselves at our expense, while preaching austerity and restraint to the rest of us.

In business, in the 1980s FTSE100 bosses were earning round 12 times the average salary. By 2012 this had shot up to 185 times, with bankers earning sometimes 300 to 400 times the average salary.

But perhaps no two people reveal the difference between the last and the present generation of the elites than Baroness “the pig” Ashton and Margaret Thatcher. After a life of holding various unelected, well-paid, well-pensioned public-sector positions, the fragrant Lady Ashton was pushed by Britain’s worst ever PM, Gordon “liar” Brown, to become the first head of the EU’s diplomatic service. She will hold this post for 5 years at an annual salary of around  £260,000 – about the same as the US president, around twice the £142,500 a British PM gets and over twice the £124,000 her counterpart, the US Secretary of State. Moreover, she has chosen to pay the extremely low EU taxes rather than UK taxes, thus saving herself around £40,000 a year.

When Ashton was appointed to her eye-wateringly lucrative position, one journalist wrote: “Never elected by anyone, anywhere, totally unqualified for almost every job she has done, she has risen to her current position presumably through a combination of down-the-line Stalinist political correctness and the fact that she has the charisma of a caravan site on the Isle of Sheppey.” According to The Guardian, an anonymous Whitehall source said: “Cathy just got lucky…The appointment of her and Herman Van Rompuy was a complete disgrace. They are no more than garden gnomes”.

When she leaves her EU job next year, Ashton will get a “transitional payment” of up to £464,000 payable over 3 years to ease her difficult transition off the gilded EU gravy train. In addition, she will be entitled to a pension of over £60,000 a year to add to all the other generous public-sector pensions she has accumulated in Britain.

Margaret Thatcher, on the other hand, was in Parliament for over 30 years and served as PM for more than 11 years winning a record-breaking (at the time) three election victories.  All in all, Thatcher served about six times longer than Baroness Ashton’s brief 5 years on the Brussels golden gravy train. For her 30 plus years, Thatcher received a pension of probably around £50,000 a year.

You couldn’t make it up.

Now the “smear UKIP” campaign gets serious – the ruling elites are afraid

First of all, congratulations to UKIP for a wonderful achievement.

Until Thursday’s local elections, the Tories thought they could get away with wheeling out the useless pile of lard Kenneth Clarke to pour scorn on UKIP. But that didn’t work, If anything, it reinforced people’s view of the Tories as arrogant, self-serving, out-of-touch, greedy, elitist scum.

So, following the election results, they produced Grant Shapps (reportedly a purveyor, under a false name, of Internet “get rich quick” schemes to the gullible https://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/news/politics/article3559556.ece) with the usual excuse that the Tories “weren’t getting their message across”. Well, Mr “Stinking Rich” Shapps, you did get your message across extremely clearly – today’s Tory Party are economically incompetent, sycophantically pro-Europe and against the interests of the British people. For example, the £2.6bn increase in foreign aid (handing money to the most corrupt people in the world) two weeks ago, from £7.9bn to £10.5bn a year, is enough money to pay for the 40,000 troops and 32,400 police (and support workers) you are firing. And we still have the most generous benefits system for immigrants in Europe. For example, in other countries child benefit is only payable for children actually living in that country, in Britain you can get child benefit even if your supposed 5 or 10 children are still living in Poland or Latvia or Romania or wherever.

Moreover, the Tory campaign through obedient journalists to smear UKIP candidates as racists didn’t work either. Hopefully, I managed to show, over the last three days, that the real garbage can be found amongst the rapists, child-molesters and thieves who have been elected as Tory, Labour and LibDem councillors.

So, now we can expect the real war against UKIP to get going. Here the three main parties will connive to bring down UKIP as UKIP are a threat to their cosy grip on power and our money. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is just a fight between different political parties. This will actually be a war pitting the corrupt, self-serving, greedy elites against the people. It will be interesting to see who wins.

One reader of this blog suggested that I seem to be fond of Hitler spoof videos on YouTube. OK, here are four more:

Hitler explains why he’s voting for Farage https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4ucTClJJwA

Hitler finds out he’s lost the US election to Obama https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuG1SVLvM6Q

Hitler can’t find Wally https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scIj3WSOhho

And one I love – Hitler does Gangnam style https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nv6C25XYps

Lions led by greedy, corrupt donkeys

As another three British troops die in the pointless war in Afghanistan it might be worth comparing the prospects for ordinary service personnel and their multimillionaire leaders.

Over the last 20 or so years, as the number of ordinary troops has declined, the number of officers has increased. The ratio of officers to lower ranks has gone up by about 30%. And this situation is about to become even more absurd – by 2020, the Royal Navy will cut 8,500 jobs, the Army 20,000 and the Royal Air Force 11,000. There is a plan to reduce the number of officers, but by nothing like the level of reductions in lower ranks. In Britain, we have around 490 officers of brigadier level and above for 180,000 troops – in the US Marine Corps there are just 86 for a force of 200,000.

And what do our officers do all day? The Navy has 421 officers for less than 40 fighting ships and submarines. The RAF has 26 Air Vice Marshalls, 90 Air Commodores and 330 Group Captains for around 820 planes. As for the Army – there are so many officers and so few regiments, we would put the Italian army to shame.

While ordinary troops risk their lives before coming home to collect their P45s and head off into a life of poverty, their officers are laughing all the way to the bank. The top 32 military bosses get over £156,000 a year each in taxfree housing allowances. A further 390 officers receive over £87,000 a year each.

As for pensions, most squaddies will get a pittance, particularly if military chiefs manage to give enough of them their P45s just before they accrue sufficient years service for a full pension. But their bosses can look forward to living the rest of their days as multimillionaires. Most top military will retire with pension pots in the £2m to £3m range, giving pensions of £70,000 to £100,000 a year. In addition, they get a taxfree lump sum of 3 years’ pension – so, well over £200,000. Plus they can make hundreds of thousands of pounds a year more by whoring themselves out to arms suppliers. Our troops may not be getting the best equipment, but their retired bosses are getting the best “bribes”.

Yes, it’s a grand life being one of Britain’s multimillionaire military bosses, but not so great if you’re a lowly squaddie being thrown on the scrap heap to save money, so your masters can continue in the taxpayer-funded luxury to which they have become accustomed.

Is Britain collapsing? Literally?

Following the rather bleak posts of the last 3 days listing Tory, Labour and LibDem councillors with somewhat unpleasant backgrounds, I thought I’d lighten the tone today.

Here’s a short (2-3 mins) Youtube video of David Cameron raging over UKIP’s rise in the polls https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6bDXCWkhV8&feature=youtu.be

And a couple of days ago there was a story about a 100 metre stretch of Dorset cliff collapsing into the sea https://uk.news.yahoo.com/dorset-landslide-coastguard-urges-caution-152807841.html#VF6Tlr7

Here are a few quite amusing reader comments about the cliff collapse:

“Our Island is doing what our government doesn’t want to do………It’s putting more distance between itself and Europe. lol”

“With over 60 million on the island, it’s beginning to sink…”

“The whole country is literally falling apart”

“Maybe more landslides to report on Thursday/Friday……”

“Cliff Collapses Into Sea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ” “Congratulations & Jubilation” Damn, wrong Cliff”

“I never liked his music anyway”   “Poor old Cliff, but I guess he’s getting on a bit”

“I think the British Isles are sinking purposely before they have to bear the added weight of Rumanian and Bulgarian scroungers. All you have to do is go to Hyde Park and see the stench and garbage the few of them had left behind and you know what is waiting for us. Why oh Why can’t anyone do anything before it’s too late???”

“I am always amazed how many pathetic idiots can take a story like this and turn it into an immigration issue”

“Oh dear, the Empire’s gone, we’re in debt up to our eyebrows, everything’s been sold to the Indians or the Germans, nothing works, the weather’s a joke, Jeremy Kyle is always on the telly, and now bits are falling off poor old Blighty. Is it time to laugh, cry, scream or take up basket weaving?”

“Bet my car keys are underneath those rocks, can’t find them anywhere. It would be just my luck”

“I told a friend that I had read an article that said that 5 cliff walkers had been injured in a fall. He observed that it was an amazing coincidence that they all had the same name!”

“Pity Cameron and Co weren’t on it at the time”

“Wow, shale fracking is having an effect already – and it hasn’t even started yet. The Greenies will be delighted”

“This country is getting smaller while the population is getting bigger”

“Apparently Eric Pickles was walking along it a couple of days ago. Must have weakened it”

“Muslims take note…there is no point in taking over our country anymore, it’s falling to bits..!”

“Now Health and Safety will ban cliffs”

Why do the LibDems choose such slime for local government?

As the established parties desperately try to smear UKIP candidates just before the May 2 local elections, over the last couple of days, I’ve been listing a few Tory and Labour councillors with somewhat unsavoury backgrounds. Today, it’s the turn of the LibDems.

A former LibDem leader of Derby City Council has been jailed for five years for child sex offences. He admitted 11 counts of indecently assaulting a boy under 14. He was Liberal Democrat leader of the council from 2003 until July 2005 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-14502471

LibDem councillor allegedly attempted to secure an advantage or disadvantage over a council matter and that she allegedly failed to declare a personal interest. The complaints are also that she allegedly failed to withdraw from a meeting at which she had a personal interest and that she allegedly sought to influence a decision in which she had a prejudicial interest. It was revealed that a farmhouse with an acre of land owned by china clay firm Imerys was sold between 2001 and 2003 to the councillor for £7,500. The land was then sold for £170,000 https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/cornwall/6243795.stm

Two Liberal Democrat councillors from Lancashire have been jailed for trying to rig an election https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/6178224.stm

A former Bristol city LibDem councillor has been sentenced to five months in prison after pleading guilty to 11 charges of electoral fraud. He had served as a Liberal Democrat councillor for the Lawrence Hill area of the city. He is already serving a 19-month jail sentence after pleading guilty to offences involving child pornography https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/3695072.stm

A councillor, who represents Bolton and Undercliffe for the Liberal Democrats, has been jailed for five years after molesting two 11-year-old girls while he was a school governor. Bradford Crown Court convicted  him of eight charges of molesting two 11-year-old girls, including one of attempted rape https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/6302707.stm

A prominent LibDem/Green Worcestershire councillor has been charged with possessing indecent photographs of a child. The Malvern Hills district councillor is accused of 17 separate counts of possessing indecent photographs https://www.worcesternews.co.uk/display.var.1322894.0._child_councillor_is_charged.php

Disgraced councillor  resigned following sex convictions relating to a 16-year-old child. The former Stockport Council environment leader and national general secretary of the Association of Liberal Democrat Councillors gave up his council seat after weeks of pressure. The LibDem councillor pleaded guilty to one count of assault and one count of trying to buy sex from a 16-year-old boy in woods near Half Moon Lane in Offerton . The shamed councillor was caught by police with red underwear, plastic gloves and a condom as he went to meet the teenage boy after they had agreed to see each other the day before. The child had spoken with the councillor in the woods. He then agreed to meet the councillor for £25 but instead told his mother of the ordeal https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/disgraced-councillor-quits-1176554

In Peterborough, a Liberal Democrat councillor was jailed for eight months after pleading guilty to 19 charges of defrauding the Department of Social Security and of fiddling council expenses. He was terribly innovative: apparently, he claimed allowances for 21 community health council meetings that he never attended, claimed cash for a meeting in the city when he was at the Liberal Democrat party conference in Eastbourne, made attendance claims for two different meetings that were held the same time, and inflated his mileage claims by as much as half as much again  https://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm199900/cmstand/a/st000608/am/00608s02.htm

There are plenty more I could list here. But you probably already have a pretty bad taste in your mouth. One could wonder why there are so many scumbags in local government. I suspect that when they’re elected, they feel they are pretty important people and that they can use their power to get away with things that ordinary citizens wouldn’t dare doing.

Hopefully I’ll find something more pleasant to write about tomorrow.

Labour crooks and sex criminals attack UKIP

As the Labour Party’s mouthpiece The Guardian tries to discredit UKIP candidates in the May 2 local elections, I thought it would be interesting to look at the kind of people Labour put into local government (I did the Tories yesterday).

Here are some stories where I could find reliable media coverage:

Labour councillor who wanted to succeed John Prescott as MP for Hull East has admitted his hopes have been shattered after his arrest for gross indecency. The former chair of Humberside Police Authority has also been suspended by his local Labour party: https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/humber/7222021.stm

A former Labour mayor and his wife have been jailed for 15 months and eight months respectively for falsely claiming almost £50,000 in benefits. The former mayor of Sefton and his wife were found guilty of conspiracy to defraud. They were also convicted at Liverpool Crown Court of exaggerating ill health to obtain disability living allowance. Judge Lewis said: “It is apparent that as the two of you postured in your civic finery being chauffeured around in your publicly funded limousine then, and for some years before, you systematically cheated the community which had honoured you. It is a disgraceful breach of trust.” https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/merseyside/7125046.stm

A former Labour deputy leader of Sefton Council has been jailed for 14 years for repeatedly stabbing a love rival.  https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/merseyside/6285344.stm

A Hampshire Labour councillor who set up a spy camera to secretly film a woman and two teenage girls using his bathroom has been jailed for four months. The man put the camera in an airing cupboard with the lens spying through a hole at his home and regularly invited teenagers to parties at his home, a court heard. He pleaded guilty to four charges of voyeurism and one for gross indecency. Judge Tom Longbotham said: “Sadly the offences that you have committed are such that they represent a very serious breach of trust apart from anything else. For example the complainant in count one, who was only aged 14, looked on you effectively as her dad” https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/hampshire/6284812.stm

After 16 years as a Labour councillor, a man is looking at a possible jail sentence for dishonestly claiming £6,500 in benefits. He has resigned from the Normanby Labour Party, but has not said whether he will step down as a councillor https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/news/tm_headline=shamed&method=full&objectid=18625813&siteid=109975-name_page.html

A former Labour Party organiser abducted and took to bed a 13-year-old boy he had groomed on the internet, a court has heard https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/england/manchester/5368488.stm

A former Labour Lord Mayor of Swansea Council has been arrested after indecent images were allegedly found on his council-issue laptop computer. The councillor has “emphatically denied” the claims and was given police bail following his arrest on Friday. He said he had given police his complete co-operation https://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/wales/south_west/4984308.stm

A Labour councillor has been questioned by police in connection with the discovery of drugs in the wheel arch of a car. A substantial amount of money was also seized from a house and inquiries by Greater Manchester Police were continuing over the weekend https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/4659496.stm

A former Labour councillor has been jailed for stealing money intended for needy children in east London. He siphoned off £30,000 from charitable groups promoting education and recreation in cash-strapped Tower Hamlets. He then squandered the money on hotels, jewellery and his television company https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/5065958.stm

I found quite a few other cases where it was alleged that Labour Party figures have been convicted for sex offences against children https://labour25.com/page/3/ But I don’t know how reliable these allegations are.

These include: Labour councillor convicted and jailed for 15 years for sexually abusing three 14-year-old boys and Labour councillor and jailed for 1 year for masturbating in front of two young boys.

There are also allegations floating around a Labour mayor jailed for 10 years for 3 rapes and 13 counts of indecent assault: a Labour mayor convicted and jailed for rape and threats to kill: a prominent Labour Party activist getting a 15-year sentence for raping a 4-year old girl on 2 separate occasions and a Labour mayor convicted of sex offences in public toilet.

Hopefully people will remember some of the above cases when The Guardian or Labour try to slag off UKIP candidates.

Panicked, corrupt Tories launch smear campaign against UKIP. Well, here’s a taste of your own medicine

If you read the papers, you’ll probably have noticed a flood of articles desperately trying to prove that many UKIP candidates in the local elections are racist or fascist or whatever. The newspapers claim to have found out about the UKIP candidates by trawling through their pasts and all the things they’re posted on the Internet. In fact, it has been the Conservative Party central office which has been doing the muckraking and then handing out the stories to obedient journalists. Yet, out of over 1,700 UKIP candidates, the Tories have only found about 6 – that’s a tiny 0.35% – who have expressed slightly doubtful views.

My understanding is that UKIP only have about four or five full-time staff to vet their 1,700+ candidates, so the smear articles look more than a little hollow. UKIP have said they will not sink to the same level as the panicked Tories, So I’ll have a go.

Conservative mayor of Bridgend in south Wales from 1984 to 1985 and a Tory candidate in two General Elections, downloaded 16,600 pornographic pictures onto his home computer at his home near Bridgend. Convicted and jailed for 3 years for downloading images of hardcore child porn https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/special_report/392220.stm

Tory Party MP for Billericay – Convicted for sex offences against teenage boys and forced to resign https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1136200.stm

Tory Party Mayor ( North Tyneside ) – Forced to resign after being arrested on suspicion of downloading child porn https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tyne/3327249.stm

Tory Party MEP – Forced to resign after being caught smuggling drugs and gay porn through customs. https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/269329.stm

Tory Party councillor and former Mayor (Wrexham) – Convicted and put on probation for 2 years, for the indecent assault of another man, which was captured on CCTV https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/north_east/2998019.stm

Tory councillor  (Wirral) given a 3-year Community Order after being arrested with 2,000 indecent images of children on his computer https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7951240.stm

It’s difficult to imagine the gleeful Tory press headlines if a UKIP candidate had been found fiddling around with young children or w*nking while viewing child porn on their computers.

I’ve got plenty more like this. But you probably get the picture by now. Oh, I almost forgot. The Tory leader on my local council Bournemouth was “encouraged” to resign after being found to have pornography on his taxpayer-funded computer.

Moreover, one of the Tory “big beasts” who was brought out to interviewed by the Daily Torygraph about UKIP was Kenneth Clarke – a man who has pocketed a fortune selling cigarettes to Third World countries and who was caught “being creative” with his council tax arrangements.

Pots and kettles, anyone?

Mahatma Gandhi wrote, “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you and then you win”. Now, I’m not equating UKIP with Mahatma Ghandi. But the Tory smear campaign does suggest the corrupt, sexually-deviant Tories are really cr*pping themselves.

(Perhaps I’ll have a go at Labour tomorrow)

Calling all Romanians and Bulgarians. Here’s how to get £36,000 a year benefits in Britain

Let’s say you are a Romanian or Bulgarian, married, 30-year-old, male, and have six kids, and you move to Britain. First thing that happens is that you’ll be given this helpful booklet explaining all the wonderful benefits to which you’re entitled as a citizen of the EUSSR. I believe it’s available in both Romanian and Bulgarian:

The booklet is fairly helpful. But let me guide you anyway, so you don’t miss out on any of the delightful £36,000 a year in benefits you can claim, all paid for by the stupid suckers in Britain who work and pay taxes.

Firstly: You work 15 hours a week earning £7.50 an hour doing a job that an English worker expects £12.00 an hour for – That’s £112.15 a week

Your employer hires three part-time migrants instead of one full-time English bloke, because his wage bill drops from £12 an hour to £7.50, so he’s delighted. You don’t pay taxes, because you don’t earn enough. You still qualify for JSA. That’s an extra £71.70 a week – source: https://www.gov.uk/jobseekers-…

Your wife is disabled, because she’s “depressed” and can’t do anything without help, so she’ll need disability payments of £79.15 a week – source: https://www.gov.uk/dla-disabil…

You’ll have to care for her, because she frequently tries to harm herself, so you’ll need to be paid £58.45 a week for that – source: https://www.gov.uk/carers-allo…

You have  6 kids, so you’ll need a decent-sized place to stay. That’s £400 a week if you’re in London or any other major town – source: https://www.gov.uk/housing-ben…

Then there’s Child Benefit. You get £20.30 a week for the oldest one and £13.40 a week for each of the others. That’s £87.30 – source: https://www.gov.uk/browse/bene…

So far you’re making £808.75 a week after tax for working 15 hours a week. That’s £42,000 a year AFTER TAX FOR WORKING 15 HOURS A WEEK. A wonderful £696 a week (£36,000 a year) of this is benefits paid for by pathetic British taxpayers. You still have the rest of the week to do whatever you like. You can go fishing, drinking, working for cash or taking all of your relatives to the dentist for free treatment. Or you can send your children out to beg and steal, while you collect copper wire and manhole covers. And, by the way, if you get hungry, barbecued swan is apparently delicious and is free at your local park.

Once you’ve paraded the kids around the benefits office a few times, you can pack them all off back to Romania or Bulgaria where it’s cheaper to keep them We’ll still pay you £87.30 a week in Child Benefit. Or you can lend them to your mates who need to show that they have a few kids to qualify for their four-bedroom house and the extra benefits.

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to Benefits Britain! But make sure you get all the benefits to which you’re entitled under EU law.