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By  David Craig, on August 11th, 2013 Britain’s favourite Mandelsonian, the corpulent know-it-all Stephen Fry has bravely struck a blow for the oppressed. Apparently Russia has passed a law which lardy Stephen Fry thinks is discriminatory against gay people. So, mustering all his rubbery courage, our national icon the great Stephen Fry has written to the PM and someone else demanding no less that the British Winter Olympics team (do we have one?) pull out of the Winter Olympics in Sochi in Russia in a couple of years’ time.
But why has lardy Fry chosen to vent his bile on Russia? With his encyclopaedic knowledge, surely Lardy knows that, while being gay is totally legal in Russia, it is a criminal offence (in some cases getting the death penalty) in over 20 African countries? (click to see more clearly)
And homosexuals are regularly outed and persecuted:
Why has Lardy never written to the PM demanding that foreign aid to these countries is stopped? Is it because Lardy is a politically-correct, multi-millionaire, lefty intellectual who believes that black people must never be criticised?
And what about Islam? Surely Lardy knows what most Muslims would like to do to homosexuals? And what they actually do to homosexuals in some devoutly Muslim countries:
This looks a bit more serious than what is happening in Russia. Moreover, why has Mr Fry not suggested boycotting the FIFA World Cup in Qatar, where homosexuals get 5 years in prison? (And probably a rather uncomfortable 5 years at that) And why have we never seen Lardy Stephen standing outside one of Britain’s mosques with a banner protesting against the treatment of homosexuals in Muslim countries? Could it be because Lardy is a politically-correct, multi-millionaire, lefty intellectual who believes that we should never criticise anyone from the Religion of Peace and Tolerance? Or could it be because Lardy is a quivering coward? Who knows?
But Lardy Stephen is not afraid to get himself lots of free publicity (he could have kept his letters private?) by picking on an easy target like the British excuse for a Winter Olympics team and letting everyone know how brave he was.
In my humble opinion, Lardy Stephen, you are a spineless, hypocritical, publicity-seeking, politically-correct, Islamophiliac buffoon and for once in your life you should just shut up.
By David Craig, on August 10th, 2013 Many of you may have seen an article about this in yesterday’s Daily Mail. But the scale of corruption in Nigeria is so great that I’ll summarise the key points:
1. Under the Coalition government, we’ll give almost £1bn in aid to the crooks and murderers who rule Nigeria
2. Nigeria is not the most corrupt country on earth. But according to Transparency International, which monitors international financial corruption, it comes a shameful 172nd worst among the 215 nations surveyed. Only such earthly paradises as Haiti or the Congo are more corrupt
3. Nigeria has crude oil reserves estimated at 35 billion barrels (enough to fuel the entire world for more than a year) and 100 trillion cubic feet of natural gas. In theory, Nigeria’s 170 million-strong population should be prospering in a country that in recent years has launched four satellites into space
4. Nigerian MPs have a basic wage of £122,000, nearly double what British MPs earn and many hundreds of times that of the country’s ordinary citizens. But their salaries are tiny compared to the billions they loot from the country’s coffers. You don’t build mansions, have a fleet of luxury cars and run a private jet on a mere £122,000 a year
5. About 70 million barrels of crude oil worth $5.5bn are stolen every year
6. The ruling elites have so many luxury homes across the world and so many Mercedes cars that in Africa they’re called ‘Wabenzi’ (“people of the Mercedes-Benz).
7. Since gaining independence in 1960, Nigeria has received $400bn (£257bn) in aid — six times what the U.S. pumped into reconstructing the whole of Western Europe after World War II. Even taking account of inflation, this is an incredible amount of money
8. Yet 70% of Nigerians live below the poverty line of £1.29 a day, struggling with a failing infrastructure and chronic fuel shortages because of a lack of petrol refining capacity, even though their country produces more crude oil than Texas
9. It is estimated that since 1960, about $380bn (£245bn) of government money has been stolen by Nigeria’s rulers and their cronies — almost the total sum Nigeria has received in foreign aid
10. President Sani Abacha, a military dictator who ruled in the 1990s, had accrued an incredible $4bn (£2.58bn) fortune by the time he died
11. Any Nigerian who dares criticise their rulers’ corruption tends to die young
Godfrey Bloom MEP has done us all a service by shining a light on the cess-pit of our international aid being stolen by Africa’s rapacious leaders. No wonder so many members of the politically-correct establishment have been so quick to condemn him.
But there is a more serious side to this story. At some point, the poor and dispossessed of Africa will rise up against their corrupt, thieving, oppressive rulers. In the past, Africans turned to communism when they fought for their freedom from European colonial powers. This time, Africa’s poor will turn to radical Islam in their new struggle against their oppressors – and the results will be disastrous for Africa and for the rest of the world.
(Only sold 2 copies of my latest book GREED UNLIMITED last week – I guess money’s too tight to mention?)
By David Craig, on August 9th, 2013 I’ve managed to get hold of a letter recently written by His Royal Highness and Defender of the People the President of the Extremely Democratic Republic of Zimbabweland to David Cameron. Here it is:
To: The Right Honourable David Cameron, President of Englandland
Dear President Cameron:
I am writing to express to you the outrage and deep hurt caused to the people of the Extremely Democratic Republic of Zimbabweland by the appallingly insulting and racist remarks made by Godfrey Bloom, MEP.
The honest, clever and industrious people of Zimbabweland have been slandered and maligned by these remarks, and we demand an immediate and impartial inquiry into why Bloom is permitted to represent a section of your people in the European Parliament, after which impartial enquiry we demand that Bloom be sentenced to public execution. Preferably this execution should be by having a car tyre filled with petrol placed round his neck and then set alight – an old and much loved tradition in Zimbabweland.
You need look no further than Zimbabweland to see how effective an impartial enquiry can be as a tool of effective democratic governance, as we have publicly executed three Opposition leaders in the last six months after impartial enquiries into their attempts to stir up unrest among the blissfully happy Zimbabwelanders who have enjoyed great freedom, wealth and security under my wise and generous (to myself) rule in the fifty years since we won our independence from your country’s oppressive colonialism.
In addition, we demand that you double this year’s offensively-titled “aid” package (which we regard as reparations for the catastrophic damage inflicted upon our people and our culture by you building roads, railways, bridges, schools, hospitals, water and sewage systems etc. Anyway, most of these are falling apart as we can’t afford to maintain them because the reparations money you’ve given us has been carefully invested by myself for the good of my people in the world’s tax havens.
In accordance with criteria established for ease of administration in the disbursement of these funds, remit these funds by hand (used notes in plain brown envelopes please) to my son, His Excellency, The High Commissioner of Zimbabweland at his luxury Mayfair mansion. It’s the one with the large garage full of Rolls-Royces, Ferraris and Maseratis.
David, my friend – let us not end this on an unhappy note.
I have a great personal opportunity for you to enrich yourself. Although, like myself, you are an indefatigable and faithful servant of your people, one has to find the means to ensure one’s own future, and because you are a great man (and we great men must stick together) I am going to let you in on a great secret.
After the Second World War, a huge hoard of Nazi gold and art treasures on their way to South America were looted from a ship that had been driven aground in a remote part of Zimbabweland. We discovered these treasures (valued at £15 trillion) after the recent earthquake ( for which you sent us a measly £6bn in aid, hardly enough to fill the tanks of the Rolls-Royce and Ferraris I bought to tour the devastated region to show my support to my grateful people. But no matter, you are forgiven).
The earthquake cracked open a large slab of lava from the volcanic eruption (for which we were sent a measly, etc…) and exposed the secret building the shipwrecked Nazis had built to conceal the treasure before they all died from the malaria endemic to the area (for which we were sent a measly, etc….).
The State of Zimbabweland is very anxious to return these treasures to their rightful owners. But there are complicated reasons why we must use a middleman.
You would be perfect, and of course, you would be paid a handling fee of 10%.
All you have to do is send me your bank details etc. .
Yours in expectation, Robert
(Sadly, this is not my own work – it’s mostly copied from a comment made by a reader of a national newspaper. But I quite liked it, so I’ve unashamedly used it)
By David Craig, on August 8th, 2013 Most of the papers seem to be having orgasms over the new Bank of England boss supposed George Clooney lookalike Mark Carnage’s announcement yesterday that interest rates will remain at virtually zero till unemployment falls below 7%. In fact there seem to be only 2 journalists – Jeremy Warner at the Telegraph and Jeff Randall at Sky – who actually understand what is really happening.
So, I’ll try to explain in five key points what Mark “Goldman Sachs” Carnage is really up to:
1. Britain is going bankrupt. Our useless, financially-incontinent government is borrowing £120bn a year and will increase our national debt from £700bn in 2010 to £1.4trn by the 2015 election. A rise in interest rates would be catastrophic for the government as our annual debt payments would shoot up from about £45bn now to £80bn or more, which we can’t afford.
2. Several of Britain’s larger banks are to all intents and purposes bankrupt as they are sitting on hundreds of billions of dud loans to zombie countries (Spain, Italy, Greece, Portugal, France), zombie companies (about 150,000 companies which have been loaded up with debt and which are struggling just to keep up with the interest payments) and zombie homeowners (people who can just about afford their current mortgage payments). A rise in interest rates would be catastrophic for the banks as the zombie countries, companies and homeowners would go under and the banks would be forced to recognise that many loans are worthless.
3. The Tories are desperate to get re-elected in 2015. Were interest rates to rise and some zombie countries, companies and homeowners to go under, this would cause a massive economic shock and plunge Britain back into recession. So the government is pouring cheap money into our banks in the hope they will lend it to zombie companies and homeowners. Carnage’s mates at the banks are using this cheap money to increase their profit margins and bonuses.
4. This is why Mark Carnage cannot allow interest rates to rise. The whole economy is a house of cards and an interest rate rise would bring it crashing down. As for our supposed recovery – our GDP is about £1.5bn or so. Of this, around £120bn (8%) is made up of borrowed money which we can never pay back. It’s not real, it’s an illusion based on borrowed money and borrowed time.
5. By holding interest rates well below the level of inflation Carnage is doing three things. He’s trying to inflate away our ever-increasing government debt. He’s transferring vast amounts of money from people who have savings to zombie companies and zombie homeowners – about £40bn a year that savers are losing in interest. He’s forcing savers to take their money out of relatively safe bank accounts and to put it into risky assets like property and shares as they desperately try to find some way of beating inflation. This is causing an asset price bubble pushing up the price of property and shares. Were interest rates to rise, many people would pull their money out of risky assets causing a property and shares price collapse.
Following Carnage’s announcement yesterday, we now know this crazy situation of supporting over-borrrowed zombies at the expense of those with savings is going to continue for another 2 to 3 years. But what then? That’s the interesting question to which nobody seems to have the answer.
By the way, if Carnage isn’t going to change interest rates for about 3 years, couldn’t he take a nice long unpaid holiday and save us all a lot of money?
(Tomorrow I’ve got a world exclusive. It’s a copy of a private letter from the great President of the Extremely Democratic Republic of Zimbabweland to David Cameron, President of Englandland)
By David Craig, on August 7th, 2013 If we look at the countries that have won the most Nobel prizes, it’s perhaps noticeable that there is not a single Islamic country in the Top Ten
This is really strange. After all, the population of Pakistan is 152 million, Egypt is 74 million and wonderful Iran is 69 million. Yet Sweden with just 9 million and Denmark with a mere 5 million people, have each won more Nobel prizes than the 295 million people in Pakistan, Egypt and Iran put together.
If we look back over time, again there don’t seem to be any Muslim countries with a lot of Nobel Prize winners:
So, there you have it, absolute proof that the members of the Nobel Prize committee are anti-Islamic. After all, what other explanation could there be for Muslim countries failing to win a significant number of Nobel Prizes?
But where can we find something in which Islamic countries really excel? Something where they are truly world-beaters? Something they can be proud of? Here’s what I found – a list of the most dangerous, violent awful countries in the world:
https://www.aneki.com/dangerous.html Five of the most dangerous countries in the world are Islamic and a further one, Israel, is on the list because of the activities of a certain group of people who tend not to be Jewish. What can this all mean? I have no idea except to suggest that the members of the Nobel Prize committee are anti-Islamic and the people who compile lists at www.aneki.com are similarly biased.
By David Craig, on August 6th, 2013 As yet another lunatic committed to waging Holy War against the West and destroying the world takes over in Iran, how worried should we be about the glorious Iranian, infidel-bashing, God-fearing, merciless armed forces’ capabilities?
An airborne early warning and control system (AWACS) is an airborne radar system designed to detect aircraft, ships and vehicles at long ranges and control and command the battle space in an air engagement by directing fighter and attack aircraft strikes.
Here’s a U.S. AWACS:
As you’ll see, it’s up in the air flying as planes are meant to do.
This is allegedly a photo of Iran’s only AWACS plane:
All seven crewmembers were killed in the crash, which reportedly was initiated when the IL-76 collided with a HESA Saeqeh fighter jet escort. Here’s film of the crash https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOnsIGcZS-M&list=PLC2B64B563E78B7D9 The footage was apparently shot from the back of a refueling aircraft.
The incident occurred about 4 years ago during a flypast at an annual military parade, which celebrated former President Ahmidinejad’s scheduled address to the United Nations General Assembly the following day. Fittingly, the Russian-built jet crashed near the tomb of Ayatollah Khomeni, so he’d have got a good view of the Iranians’ cock-up.
The downed AWACS plane was actually built for Saddam Hussein in the 1970s. Iraq flew it to Iran for safekeeping during the second Gulf War, and Iran kept it, possibly getting some radar upgrade help from Russia before putting it into service. It was Iran’s only AWACS-capable aircraft at the time.
Never mind, the crew will be deliriously happy as they’re now up in Paradise with their virgins. And perhaps our Iranian friends will have better luck with their next AWACS plane. Though, don’t expect to see it taking part in any more flypasts.
By David Craig, on August 5th, 2013 Those of you who read the Sunday Times will know that the Tories’ supposed “attack dog” Australian Lynton Crosby is launching a massive smear campaign against UKIP. The Tories’ cunning plan is to send observers into council meetings where there is a UKIP councillor and try to catch them saying things which the Tory press can then use to smear UKIP. The first shot was fired yesterday when both the Mail on Sunday and the Sun on Sunday came out with a story claiming that a UKIP candidate wanted to bring Sharia Law to Britain:
But the Tories should be a little careful with their great new plan. After all, there are plenty of Tory councillors who have been convicted of offences like rape, paedophilia, fraud, drug-smuggling. Here are just a few deviant Tories:
Conservative mayor of Bridgend in south Wales from 1984 to 1985 and a Tory candidate in two General Elections, downloaded 16,600 pornographic pictures onto his home computer at his home near Bridgend. Convicted and jailed for 3 years for downloading images of hardcore child porn https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/special_report/392220.stm
By David Craig, on August 4th, 2013 Looking through some old GCSE physics papers, I came across this question (click to see more clearly)
It rather looks as if the question was set by a life-long Guardian reader.
The key problem with this is obviously the assumption that Global Warming is caused by human activity – in particular power generation. Yet the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere goes up every year, while global temperatures have not risen for about 15 years. (Now that might be a more interesting question for 15-16 year olds to discuss).
But there is another problem with this question – it’s laughably easy. When many of us took our physics O Level, we’d have been doing complicated calculations about electricity and the mass and velocity of moving bodies and so on. Not answering a pathetically simple, politically-biased multiple choice.
Oh, and in case you think I’m being unfair on our GCSEs, here’s a question from a maths paper:
Helpfully, the examiners give children a clue by showing that 1/2 is the same as 50%. Now, I realise that on Simon Cowell’s faked ‘talent’ shows, the judges frequently talk about “a thousand million per cent”. But honestly, this question for 15-16 year olds is probably easier than questions that would have been in the old 11 Plus tests. It would be a joke if it wasn’t so serious.
Yet in spite of such asinine exam questions, thanks mainly to our teaching unions with their “no child must learn anything, no child must excel” attitude, around 60% of 16-year-olds do not achieve a Grade C in English, Maths and Science.
Oh, and in case you thought the questions in the English GCSE were tough, here’s an example:
Not exactly as difficult as describing the psychology of a character in a Shakespeare play, is it?
There were. of course, many other, tougher questions in all these exam papers. But the fact that the three questions above were even included is truly chilling when you look at the efforts countries like Singapore, China, Malaysia, Thailand (where every child gets a tablet computer) and many others are putting into creating a more educated workforce.
By David Craig, on August 3rd, 2013 We should thank Simon “Slimey” Cowell for some great entertainment. No, I don’t mean his screeching karaoke competition, nor his “Eastern Europe’s got talent because Britain hasn’t”. I’m referring, of course, to his alleged shenanigans with the wife of a (former?) friend.
If the papers are to be believed, Slimey has been poking a certain Lauren Silverman and now the good lady is allegedly pregnant with Slimey’s baby.
Here’s Slimey looking pretty pleased with himself as any man who has made over £200m should:
And here’s Slimey apparently on a luxury yacht with his (former?) friend and his alleged lover:
Being a former management consultant, I started trying to ‘do the numbers’. Lauren Silverman has been married for about 10 years. Let’s assume Slimey has been bonking her for, say, 3 years and let’s assume they have got it on maybe 20 times a year (I imagine it will actually be much less as Slimey must have a very busy work schedule). That means they’ve had boom boom about 60 times.
Now, how much will all this cost Slimey? Let’s just assume the total cost is a modest £10m to look after the lady and his child (if he is indeed the father). So, that’s 60 boom booms at a total cost of £10m giving a cost per boom boom of an astonishing £166,666.
Of course, it could be true love and Slimey may be overjoyed about the alleged pregnancy, in which case a stupid, cynical, childish financial calculation like the one above would be completely irrelevant.
I wonder what Paul “I’m a lot poorer since I met the delectable Heather” McCartney thinks about it all?
At the time of McCartney’s divorce, there was a joke going round:
There was a dreadful accident at a goldmine in South Africa. There was only one survivor. But though rescued alive from the disaster, the miner lost one leg. When interviewed by a journalist, the miner couldn’t stop crying in anguish. “But you should be happy your life was saved” the journalist said. “No”, replied the miner, “who’s going to want a one-legged gold-digger?”
I wanted a picture to go with this rather old joke and Googled “one-legged gold-digger” on Google Images. This is the first picture that came up. I wonder why?
Meanwhile in the real world – it seems that Iran’s new president has called for the destruction of Israel. This is the guy that the politically-correct buffoons at the BBC call a ‘moderate’. When are the overpaid, over-pensioned, thieving, child-molesting self-important parasites at the BBC going to realise that our Arab friends don’t do ‘moderate’? They hate Israel, they hate us and they hate each other (Sunnis hate Shiites hate Alawites etc etc) almost as much as they hate Israel and us.
By David Craig, on August 2nd, 2013 Since the 2008 crash, supposed experts have been predicting anything from a few countries being forced out of the euro to the complete collapse of the single currency. They are all wrong because with European, including British, banks all exposed to massive, almost incomprehensible amounts of other European countries’ debt, just one country leaving the Eurozone would cause a massive banking collapse across the whole of Europe (click on chart to see clearly)
 Of course, the experts claim that a small country like Cyprus or Greece leaving the Eurozone would be manageable. But our leaders can’t afford to let that happen. For a start, it would imply that their great European superstate project was flawed. And secondly, if even a small country left and its economy started to revive, then others would want to leave.
I’ve now found some new figures of the exposure of Eurozone taxpayers just to the debts of the Club Med countries – Germany €644bn, France €485bn, Netherlands €139bn, even little Finland €43bn. Again, our leaders can’t afford any country going because of the enormous losses this would impose on other Eurozone taxpayers.
But while we see the euro as a disaster, in a lot of countries the EU and the euro are not seen as the problem. They are seen as being better than their own incompetent, corrupt, worthless national politicians.
Actually,what the EU has done, among other things, is give useless, incompetent, corrupt national politicians easy access to other countries’ taxpayers’ money. Taken away the need for them to make decisions that are best for their own country. Allowed access to a exclusive club where rewards for incompetence are massive and guaranteed. Where the only requirement is unquestioning devotion to the EU itself.
Some readers may be old enough to remember Norman Tebbitt’s infamous exhortation to the unemployed in, I think, the 1970s to “get on your bike” and move to areas of Britain where there were jobs. Now the EU is doing exactly the same thing. It’s forcing countries to advertise available jobs throughout the EU and is giving grants of around €1,000 to people, mostly from bankrupt Club Med countries and Eastern Europe, to move to countries like Britain, Germany and the Netherlands to find work (or generous benefits).
It’s clear where these many hundreds of thousands of unemployed will come from (click on chart to see clearly)
You may think the UK is overcrowded and bankrupt now. But just wait till a million Club Med escapees and another million Romanians and Bulgarians arrive in Benefits Britain. Our police, NHS, schools, social services and whole economy are all going to collapse under the strain of the millions of people being forced on us by our rulers in Brussels.
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