More not very original sexist supposed jokes

A man asks, �God, why did you make woman so beautiful?� God responded, �So you would love her.� The man asks, �But God, why did you make her so dumb?� God replied, �So she would love you.�

Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.

Q: Why do men come home drunk and leave their clothes on the floor?
A: Because they are in them.

Q: Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
A: So oxygen can get into their brains

Husband: “Want a quickie?”� Wife: “As opposed to what?”

Q. What’s the difference between men and pigs? A. Pigs don’t turn into men when they get drunk

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: “I can do better than this.”

Q: What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A: A man’s undivided attention

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because they already have boyfriends.

A man cooks for a woman when they are dating. He says, “I only know how to cook two things – steak and fried eggs” “Great,” she says. “Which one is this?”

Q: Why did God create man? A: Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.

Q: What is a man’s view of safe sex?� A: A padded headboard.

Q: What is that useless piece of�skin on the end of a penis? A: A man

Woman 1: “Has your guy been circumcised?” �Woman 2: “No. He’s a complete dick.”

Woman1: “Do you ever talk to your man during sex?” �Woman 2: “Only if he phones me.”

Q: What’s the difference between a smart man and a stupid man? A: Nothing. They both think they know everything

Q: What does it mean when a man is laying in bed calling a woman’s name and gasping for breath? A: She’s hasn’t held the pillow down long enough

Q: How is marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose

Q: Why do men name their penises? A: Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.

Woman: “I got a set of golf clubs for my husband” �Friend: “GREAT trade!”

Husband: “I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I’ve never been before.”� Wife: “Well, how about the kitchen?”

Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay? �A: They don’t have time.

Men’s brains are like the prison system: not enough cells per man

Man: “Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?”� Woman: “Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.”

Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man?� A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.

A woman’s rule of thumb: If it has tyres or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it…”

Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes

Men are like…..High heels. They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it