David Craig, on May 24th, 2014A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men?
A: Government bonds mature.
Q: Why do men come home drunk and leave their clothes on the floor?
A: Because they are in them.
Q: Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
A: So oxygen can get into their brains
Husband: “Want a quickie?” Wife: “As opposed to what?”
Q. What’s the difference between men and pigs? A. Pigs don’t turn into men when they get drunk
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: “I can do better than this.”
Q: What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A: A man’s undivided attention
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because they already have boyfriends.
A man cooks for a woman when they are dating. He says, “I only know how to cook two things – steak and fried eggs” “Great,” she says. “Which one is this?”
Q: Why did God create man? A: Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.
Q: What is a man’s view of safe sex? A: A padded headboard.
Q: What is that useless piece of skin on the end of a penis? A: A man
Woman 1: “Has your guy been circumcised?” Woman 2: “No. He’s a complete dick.”
Woman1: “Do you ever talk to your man during sex?” Woman 2: “Only if he phones me.”
Q: What’s the difference between a smart man and a stupid man? A: Nothing. They both think they know everything
Q: What does it mean when a man is laying in bed calling a woman’s name and gasping for breath? A: She’s hasn’t held the pillow down long enough
Q: How is marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.
Q: How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose
Q: Why do men name their penises? A: Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Woman: “I got a set of golf clubs for my husband” Friend: “GREAT trade!”
Husband: “I want to go somewhere on holiday this year I’ve never been before.” Wife: “Well, how about the kitchen?”
Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay? A: They don’t have time.
Men’s brains are like the prison system: not enough cells per man
Man: “Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?” Woman: “Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.”
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
A woman’s rule of thumb: If it has tyres or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it…”
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes
Men are like…..High heels. They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it
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