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Burkha Broadcasting Corporation – summer schedule

(As it’s a fine summer’s day, I’ll do what the overpaid, over-pensioned bureaucrats at the Burkha Broadcasting Corporation seem to do all summer – I’ll do a repeat)

When uncontrolled immigration and higher birth rates put Muslims into the majority in ever more British cities and institutions, here’s what a BBC (renamed as ‘Al-BBC’) TV schedule could look like in 30 years time.

(I, of course, consider my own blog today deeply offensive)

6.00: G-Had TV  Morning prayers and a couple of suicide attacks.

8.30: Talitubbies  Talitubbies say “Eh-oh”. Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher.

9.00: Shouts of Praise More prayers for the Islamic Republic of Britain and curses for the Great Satan – America

10.00: The Apprentice  Ten young Muslims complete a variety of tasks each week – one of them will be recruited by prominent Islamist leader Muqtada al-Sadr into a top position in the Mahdi Army.

11.00: Jihad’s Army  The Kandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels.

12.00: Ready, Steady, Jihad!  Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday objects.

12.30: Panoramadan The programme reports on Great Satan America’s attempts to prevent the followers of the true Religion of Peace taking over the world.

13.30: Xena  Modestly dressed housewife Xena stays at home and does some cooking.

14.00: Only Fools and Camels  Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas.

14.30: Green Peter  The total number of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed.

15.00: Madrasah Challenge Two more Islamic colleges compete. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions. ‘Starter for ten, no praying’.

15.30: Question Time Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders. Those failing to answer correctly are flogged or hanged or both.

16.30: Countdown Can the American prisoners defuse the bomb in their cell before the timer runs down?

17.00: Koranation Street Deirdrie faces execution by stoning for adultery.

17.30: Middle-East Enders The entire cast is flogged and then jailed for unislamic behaviour.

18.00: Holiday The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again.

18.30: Top of the Prophets Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week running?

19.00: Who wants to be a Muhajadin? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go ‘inshallah’, or ask the Islamic Council?

20.00: FILM: Shariah’s Angels The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women

20.00 FILM (on the blood-red button) Seven Kidnapped Brides for Each of Our Brothers Filmed in Nigeria and featuring your favourite stars from Boko Haram

21.30: Big Brother Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week for adultery or apostasy?

22.00: Imam Ted  Sitcom about three imams who live on a tiny island in the Persian Gulf. This week, Imam Dhuga’il accidentally burns down the mosque, while Imam Jakh is stoned to death for drinking alcohol

22.30: Shahs in their Eyes  More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the infidel

23.30: They think it’s Allah over  Quiz culminating in the ‘Don’t feel the Mullah’ round

Midnight: When Imams Attack  Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot.

00:.30: The West Bank Show Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the Occupied Territories.

01.30: Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer More infidels put to death for being…well…infidels

02.00: A book at bedtime The Koran. Again

1 comment to Burkha Broadcasting Corporation – summer schedule

  • Paris Claims

    O/T The Americans are sending 200 special forces, armed to the teeth, in an attempt to rescue the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls.
    However the combined British/Aussie task force, led by Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall, Max Clifford and Dave Lee Travis are expected to reach the schoolgirls long before the Americans are out of the starting blocks.

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