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Politics is a dirty game

I thought readers might be amused by something that happened to me in my boring little life yesterday. I am on a list of “approved candidates” for the 2015 General Election for a political party whose name begins with “U”. So, all I have to do now is to attend “hustings” at my local constituencies in the hope that one will choose me as their candidate for 2015. So far, all fairly clear.

Yesterday I attended my first hustings. Or, at least I tried to. The constituency chairman, who was the candidate in the 2010 General Election and who also wanted to be the candidate in 2015, sent me an email last week confirming that the hustings would be held at “12 noon”. But when I turned up at about 11.45, I found that the hustings had already taken place at 11.00, the two other potential candidates had done their pitch and all the party members had already voted.

I was allowed to give my little spiel, but it was pointless. And of course, the guy (the constituency chairman) who had told me the hustings would start at “12 noon” was chosen as the candidate.

When I confronted him about why he had told me the hustings would be at “12 noon”, his excuse was that maybe he had accidentally typed “12” in the email rather than “11”. But hold on a minute. He actually typed “12 noon” and not just “12”. You’d need a pretty big slip of the finger to “accidentally” type “12 noon” instead of “11”. After all, you couldn’t write “11 noon”.

But a further problem is that the party chairman and now the General Election candidate for the constituency is (how to put this politely?) not exactly an inspiring public speaker. Every time he gives a speech, he has to read it from prepared notes on which he has marked in red the areas where he has to show spontaneous passion. You don’t inspire people if your head is bowed while you read your speech. The constituency is a safe Tory seat with the Conservatives getting 48% of the votes in 2010. The party whose name begins with “U” possibly needs someone a bit more colourful, a bit more controversial and someone who can get more press and media attention than our newly-chosen candidate.

Hey, ho. Politics is a dirty business and I’m sitting here wondering if it’s even worth renewing my membership of the party whose name begins with a “U”.

10 comments to Politics is a dirty game

  • right_writes

    No one said it is perfect David…

    But it is the only alternative at the moment…

    Or as the former PM Margaret Thatcher (as mimicked by Private Eye) might have put it…

    TINA.

    Certainly, there is a disparate bunch of phobics that seem to have totally disenfranchised themselves, because they “think so hard”, that they see demons everywhere… I call them… “The Harromates”, and they expect to get noticed by NOT standing for election…. 🙂

    At best U**P would be perfect.

    As it stands, it is moving in the right direction, it still offers the only viable option, and yes there are some priceless idiots, just as in every walk of life.

    I reckon that at worst, it would still be better than the LibLabCON…

    Vote UKIP, and vote often.

  • Brillo

    What a sad individual he is David. What comes around etc. your time will come.

  • yohodi

    The party whose name begins with “U” is in desperate need of good orators, lets face it Farage is head and shoulders above most politicians,and really the only game in town, and that’s dangerous for any party.
    David, if you are as good as you think you are, and from what I read here, and your books I do not doubt it, I would urge you to press home your point..
    UKIP is the only viable option as has been said above. But I worry that it is a stalking horse for the establishment liblabcon trick, I hope I’m wrong. Politics is a dirty game, so get dirty!

  • j blount

    I trust you biffed him one.

    I have, with great amusement, seen who are the U*** prospective candidates in my area. I know of a couple and they are human planks. I would prefer to vote for Labour than for them – on the basis I don’t know anything about them. Tory? I don’t think so. I might get Cleggy again.

  • Scooper's Ghost Micro Bear

    I’m sure that they did you a favour. People seem to be desperate for a really alternative political voice but UKIP is not it. At best they are a protest vote but as a serious party they lack almost all of the basics required to effectively operate in a political environment. When Lord Monckton resigned as Party Chairman, he described it as being ‘amateur’ and I can’t see that it’s improved since. While Farage may be a charismatic personality, he has failed to build an effective party and I really can’t see them winning any Westminster seats in 2015.
    The recent Somerset floods gave Farage a fantastic opportunity to attack EU Directives and Policy but he decided to take a line about using Foreign Aid funds to compensate residents – talk about missing an open goal. Still very amateur.

  • right_writes

    To the last commenter…

    You are making a big statement there…

    Which is all very well, if it were true that the “established” politicians and their parties were any good, or had any interest in the people that they are supposed to be representing…

    But they aren’t…

    The big difference is that they (for argument’s sake, let’s call them the LibLabCON) are campaigning against everything that I value, and UKIP for all their (your perception) amateurishness are campaigning for what I believe in.

    And finally, you and your mates (presumably you are a Harromate) are not taking part at all, apart from your snide sniping from the sidelines.

    I have only got one life, and I am sick of theory…

    I am going to continue to Vote UKIP, as anyone who actually understands what is being done to us by the LibLabCON and the rest of the ideologists that seem to be in charge of the asylum, ought to be doing.

    People like you are like a sort of irritating white noise.

  • ParisClaims

    If you talk half as well as you write you would have been a natural.

  • shortchanged

    Sorry to hear of your misfortune David, maybe you can take comfort from the old saying, ‘Oh, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive’. But just in case that doesn’t work, fight dirty. You seem to be the sort of bloke we need.

    Vote UKIP

  • Dr. R. D. Feltham

    This sort of feature is recurrent with UKIP. They have Farage who is the most eloquent orator on the present politcal scenario, but that is about all; and clearly he does not as leader have control of the party, which is why you get all the fruitcakes running amok and the sort of chaos which you describe here, leading to the selection of further fruitcakes. I fear that because of this and the evident inability of Farage to get his party in check and ensure other eloquent candidates for constituencies are selected, UKIP is turning out to be unfortunately a damp squib! Thus, there will never now be any real political change until and unless there is a new properly structured and properly led political party. Thus the only thing for those like you and I is to permanently emigrate from the EU and its increasing Police State. It is all a bit like Nazi Germany was; if you don’t get out soon enough it will shortly become impossible!

  • Scooper's Ghost Micro Bear

    Right_writes
    Thanks for the feedback.
    I would state here that I do feel that the Lib/Lab/Con alliance work against everything I believe in too. I cannot find a political organisation that represent my own views and aspirations for the UK, but if I could then I would get out there and help.
    Could you explain to me what a Harromate is. I do not understand what you are accusing me of there.
    Finally, it’s quite ironic that you accuse me of being ‘irritating white noise’ while you support UKIP. The main political parties are widely viewed throughout the nation as being self serving, venal scumbags. The time for a genuine political alternative is now, but time and again UKIP fail to establish any form of credibility and to effectively convey their message. UKIP allow themselves to be portrayed a nutters and extremists by the media and fail to set any form of agenda for an adult debate about the EU. Additionally, Mr Farage does not appear to understand the mechanism for us to leave the EU which all in all, points to an amateur operation.
    If your somewhat dismissive and presumptive response to my post is typical of the thinking of UKIP members then I would expect your party to remain irrelevant in the EU debate and be fit only to spoil by-elections for Tories in marginal seats. White noise indeed.

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