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Why are we so absurdly generous to immigrants?

I’ve written before about how any immigrant arriving in Britain from almost any country can immediately demand a copy of this wonderful booklet in their own language:

In this booklet, they will find helpful explanations as to how they can apply for some or all of the following benefits:

  • Attendance Allowance
  • Child Benefit
  • Council Tax Benefit
  • Disability Living Allowance 
  • Guardian’s Allowance
  • Housing Benefit
  • Income Support
  • Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
  • Industrial Injuries Disablement Benefit
  • Carer’s allowance
  • Reduced Earnings Allowance
  • Severe Disablement Allowance
  • Statutory Sick Pay

Here’s an email going round exposing the utter absurdity of the way we shower money on immigrants and give them priority for all our public services even though they may never have contributed anything to our country:

Relocating To Pakistan

Dear Mr Cameron,

I’m planning to move my family and extended family to Pakistan for my health and to benefit from the extraordinary generosity of the Pakistani people and I would like to ask you to assist me with this. We’re planning to simply fly from Britain to Pakistan and we’ll need your help to make a few arrangements. We plan to skip all of the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I’m sure they handle those things in the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Asif Ali Zardari, that I’m on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire extended family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services we might need, whether we use them or not.

3. All Pakistani Government forms must be printed in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Urdu by English speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on British culture and history.

6. I want my grandkids to see the British flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Pakistani driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Pakistan, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws. In fact, my wife who cannot speak or read Urdu, will also be driving my car even though she will be unable to understand any road signs

10. In case one of the Pakistani police officers does not get the memo from President Zardari to leave me   alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer and that all police officers respect my culture and beliefs.

11. I expect my family to be given priority over Pakistani citizens for such things as housing, school places and medical care

12. I plan to fly the British flag from my housetop, put British flag decals on my car and have a gigantic celebration for Christmas on December 25th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

13. I would also like to have a nice cash-in-hand job without paying any taxes, or have any labour or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

14. Please have President Zardari tell all of the Pakistani people to be extremely welcoming to my large extended family and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy or public services like schools, housing and healthcare

15. Naturally, I’ll expect free rent subsidies, generous benefits and payments for each of my many grandchildren.

16. We’ll need income tax credits so that, in case any of my family members does take a job, they’ll receive much more money from the government than they’ll ever pay in tax.

17. I expect all adults in my extended family to be given the vote so that we can vote for whichever political party gives people like us the most in handouts.

18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enrol my wife and I free into the Pakistan Social Security program so that we’ll get monthly pension cheques in retirement for the rest of our lives.

I know this is an easy request because you as our Prime Minister already do all these things for all of his people who fly to Britain from Pakistan. I am sure that President Zardari won’t mind returning the favour if you ask   him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help

 

4 comments to Why are we so absurdly generous to immigrants?

  • Paris Claims

    I can understand the first two departments of the liblabcon party hovering up welfare junkies from the dustbins of the third world…..the votes.
    But what is in it for Cameron? Is his mission to destroy the conservative party? I’ve racked my brains, and I cannot think of another. Had he actually given us a referendum on the EU (before 2014) closed the borders ’till the referendum, withdrawn our troops, trimmed the worst excesses of the bloated state, put a halt to foreign aid whilst giving us plebs a couple of tiny tax reductions he’d be so far ahead in the polls the next election would be a foregone conclusion.
    The only other (unlikely) possibility is he really is a power hungry socialist and is gambling everything on that geek Miliband being unelectable, so he can continue his “good work”

  • Brillo

    Brilliant article as usual. It just makes you want to cry. Civil war within 30 years? probably.

  • John Fields

    Your article highlights one of reasons why we are in such a terrible
    bloody mess.

  • brian

    well done , sums up our country to a T, I wonder sometimes if our grandparents could have seen into the future weather they would have been so eager to make the ultimate sacrifice for our broken country, and what about our boys coming home to this after risking it all thousands of miles away, makes you want to cry

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