Let’s stop being so intolerant. Let’s allow Sharia Law in Britain now.

Stupid, intolerant people often complain about the Islamification of Britain and about Sharia Law slowly creeping into our society as members of the Muslim community turn to their imams to sort out legal issues rather than to the UK authorities. But what’s the problem? Let’s be more welcoming to our Muslim guests. If they want Sharia Law for Muslims, let them have it.

For a start, any Muslim caught stealing would have a hand amputated. If caught again, chop chop as the other hand goes. As for any Muslim committing adultery – stoning to death is the only possible sentence. And for any Muslim who commits blasphemy by criticising any single word written in the Koran – well, once again, it’s time so start throwing stones. And should any girl be sentenced to death while still a virgin, naturally she would have to be raped before being killed as Sharia Law (as practised in the beautiful tolerant Iran) apparently forbids the execution of virgins.

Then there’s female genital mutilation (FGM). Although this is not actually mentioned in the Koran, many highly-respected Muslim scholars have insisted this is a key aspect of living a proper Muslim life – so, lots of FGM too.

In Britain, we need to be more open-minded about the admirable customs and traditions of those who come to settle here, often to live comfortable lives on benefits paid for by us. So as for Sharia Law – bring it on. There would certainly be a fall in crime.