Useless liar Osborne knows nothing, understands nothing and is a nothing – that’s how he became Chancellor

As public spending continues to increase, public borrowing continues to increase and our debts get even larger, some people might be wondering how someone whose only proper job was folding napkins in Selfridges could rise to become Chancellor. Perhaps we can get some guidance from Gilbert and Sullivan’s HMS Pinafore where the head of the navy explains how he got his job:

When I was a lad I served a term
As office boy to an attorney’s firm
I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor
And I polished up the handle of the big front door
He polished up the handle of the big front door
I polished up that handle so carefully
That now I am the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy
He polished up that handle so carefully
That now he is the Ruler of the Queen’s Navy

Seems to me, this perfectly sums up how the useless lying incompetent fool Osborne rose to become Chancellor. So here’s a reworking of the first verse:

When I was a lad I served a term
Folding napkins at a well-known firm
I folded napkins and I swept the floor
And I sold some bits and pieces at the well-known store
He sold some bits and pieces at the well-known store
I folded those napkins so carefully
That now I am the Ruler of the Treasury
He folded those napkins so carefully
That now he is the Ruler of the Treasury