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Dr Doom likes to boom boom and other bad jokes

(Wednesday blog)

Dr Doom likes to boom boom

You have to laugh. Dr Doom – Professor Neil ‘Mystic Meg’ Ferguson from Imperial College – the man whose doom-laden predictions of 500,000 Covid-19 deaths led to the Government imposing the economy-destroying and life-destroying lockdown has been caught meeting up with his married lover. Presumably Dr Doom had these trysts so he could shove his mighty helmeted warrior of love into the good lady’s temple of paradise.

Never in the history of statistical epidemiologists has one man provided so much amusement to so many.

Thank you Professor Ferguson for entertaining us all with you amorous antics. Hopefully you both crossed the finishing line together several times.

On such a day, it’s hard to be totally serious. So, here are a few bad jokes

Joke 1 – Joe Biden

Facing the prospect of having to do a televised one-on-one debate with Donald Trump, corrupt Joe ‘China’ Biden has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

“I don’t know what to do,” says the Devil. “You’re on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got three people here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”

Creepy sleepy Joe thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell. “No!” Biden said. “I don’t think so. I’m too sleepy and old. I don’t think I could do that all day long.”

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. “No! I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I had to do was break rocks all day!” Biden complained.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Biden saw his hero, fellow Democrat Bill Clinton, lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Biden looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, “Yeah, I can handle this.”

The Devil smiled and said, “Monica, you’re free to go!”

A few other supposed jokes

7 comments to Dr Doom likes to boom boom and other bad jokes

  • Hardcastle

    Aramita Smade,(not the telegraph letters) for those who do not know,has an interesting take on his resignation.She is never wrong in my humble opinion and her posts highly readable.

  • twi5ted

    Very good.

    I read the quote from Ferguson that he thought he was “immune”. I think he was referring to being beyond the rules as a pivotal figure in this scheme and believed he deserved and had protection.

    He thought as an insider orchestrating the scam which would move the west closer to the Marxist climate change end goal. The sex must have been amazing as he basked in the power to destroy capitalism with his adoring Soros funded professional activist girlfriend. It’s a level of crazy that only exists in their lefty tax payer funded bubble. Delusional.

    Thankfully he had outlived his usefulness and has been sacrificed. The science is about to take the blame. He completely under estimated the British public and the scheme was unravelling – the roads are busier every day and people are getting back to normal as best they can. Govt needs to catch up now and this is first step.

  • twi5ted

    Thanks to Hardcastle for the Aramita Smade post – this alleges the story is a cover as Ferguson is a homosexual. Maybe his girlfriend was in fact his handler and advisor? Maybe this link to climate change nutters and fraudsters was about to be exposed so the state needed to protect him whilst providing cover for their collusion.

  • A Thorpe

    What if he and Boris shared the same mistress and Ferguson was blackmailing Boris to get the job?

  • chris

    Perhaps there is yet another reason for his resignation. NF has refused to reveal the computer code for his programme/model. By resigning now that he has caused so much damage to the nation he can keep his code secret and escape liability. I know a bit about coding and I surmise that if he released the source code it would reveal the ludicrous assumptions made by the code writer in generating the number of deaths.

    Also, remember that this man with Prof Roy Anderson of Imperial College caused the needless deaths of over 6 million healthy animals in 2001 in the foot and mouth outbreak. Interestingly, the proposal to develop and deploy a vaccine was abandoned.

    Slightly off-topic. Will anyone download the NCSC app on their phone? If you’re considering it read Guido’s article first.

  • Bigfoot

    In another version of the “new guy in Hell” joke, Satan shows the newly dead person a room where Joseph Stalin is in bed with Marilyn Monroe. The new guy says “I want Stalin’s punishment”, to which Satan replies “Don’t be silly, that’s not Stalin’s punishment, it’s Monroe’s punishment”.

  • leila

    I am more than sure that no reader here will download the NCSC app!
    For the entire lock-in my landlady and I have had up to 15 builders at a time ruining the next door garden by concreting over 1/3 of it and extending the patio to 1/3 leaving 1/3 of London clay exposed for ‘grass’ No-one could help control them, not the MP, the council,or planning. We were advised to call the police but who wants to do that? also I knew instinctively the whole ‘pandemic’ was codswallop So all the other builders in the street stayed in while this lot ran amok. I don’t understand anything in Britain.

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