February 2023
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Mr Hague – you want to go to war in Syria? I’ll buy you a ticket and a gun and you can go off and fight

Prize dumbo, Foreign Secretary William Hague, has just claimed that “the situation in Syria is like Bosnia in the 1990s” as he warns the country is on the brink of a civil war in the hope of getting popular backing for British military action. Well, Mr Hague, for a start the Bosnia conflict was between Orthodox Christians and Muslims – in Syria it’s Muslims slaughtering Muslims. So. no marks for historical accuracy.  And how do we really know who is killing whom? All these supposed massacre horror stories could just be a rerun of Blair’s dodgy dossier claiming Iraq had WMDs – more lies from our lying politicians and an obedient press. Moreover, if a Muslim country wants to have a jolly good civil war, it’s really not our problem – let the other Muslim countries sort it out – they’ve got lots more money than we have. Plus, if we send our troops, then the Muslims will hate us even more than they hate each other – haven’t you learnt anything from the disasters in Iraq and Afghanistan, Mr Hague? A commentator on a newspaper website recently wrote that we should sit back, buy some popcorn and a few beers and watch what happens. This may sound heartless, but if Muslims desperately want to kill other Muslims because they belong to the wrong sect or wear a different coloured pair of trousers or whatever other stupid reason, we can’t and shouldn’t stop them.

And, Mr Hague and Mr Cameron, if you really want to intervene, I’d be happy to pay for guns and one-way plane tickets for both of you and then you can go and put your own lives at risk. But for God’s sake, you arrogant, self-righteous, multimillionaire cowards, if Muslims want to kill Muslims, let them get on with it, but don’t put the lives of any British troops in danger for no purpose at all ever again.

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