Indian sex tourists – here’s some friendly advice

(Hopefully my post today won’t be relevant to any of my regular readers)

Hello Indian sex tourists.

Here’s some friendly advice for you.

Now I realise that the most popular male participation sport in India is not cricket, but gang rape. And I realise that this is usually the gang-rape of lower caste girls in villages by groups of higher caste men. And, of course such rapes are seldom if ever punished due to the Indian police being utterly corrupt. Even when the girl is murdered after the rape to get rid of any witnesses, the police do nothing.

In Britain, we think of ‘safe sex’ as being when a condom is used. In India, ‘safe sex’ often involves the use of a hangman’s noose:

But as the Indian economy grows and the size of the urban middle classes increases, many Indian men are travelling to other Asian countries to get sex rather than relying on gang-rape in their own country. Progress is a wonderful thing!

Anyway, having talked to a policeman in the Land of Smells, I have some possibly useful advice for Indian sex tourists going there:

Choose the uglier, fatter, older women – those whom I believe you call “aunties” – as they will be more desperate for clients and money. Why? Because the reputation of Indian sex tourists is so bad that many of the younger, more beautiful girls are now refusing to have sex with Indian men.

There seem to be four main reasons that the girls don’t want anything to do with Indian sex tourists:

The smell�apparently (according to the policeman) the girls complain that Indian men smell awful. Probably it’s a combination of the food they eat, the infrequency of taking showers and the inability to understand how to use a toilet properly

Group sex�while men from most other places – Europe, Japan, Korea, the USA – usually have one man taking one girl for sex, Indian sex tourists almost always want group sex with three, four or even five men all banging one girl at the same time. Apparently many girls dislike this, hence only the uglier, more desperate ones will agree to this

Cheating the girls in the Land of Smells, payment is normally made after the work is finished. However, word has got around that many Indian men have �refused to pay what was agreed. The policeman told me that the police were forever getting complaints from prostitutes who had been cheated by Indian men, but the police’s policy was that this was a private matter between the prostitutes and their clients and nothing to do with the police. As for those prostitutes who will go with Indian men, most now demand payment upfront from Indians so they don’t get cheated. All other nationalities still pay after the act as the prostitutes can trust them not to try to cheat them and even to give a tip over and above the amount originally agreed if the service is good

Gang rape the prostitutes have also got wise to another trick Indian sex tourists play. One or two men will take a prostitute back to their hotel room for sex. But they’ll leave the door unlocked and once sex starts, four or five of their friends will come in and also have sex with the girl. But, in spite of more men than agreed having sex with the girl, the Indians won’t pay any more than was agreed at the start or they may even refuse to pay that much

So, my Indian friends. I hope you find this friendly advice useful.

The girls in the Land of Smells are wising up. They’re learning what you’re really like and many will have nothing to do with you because you’re such disgusting, foul-smelling, cheap, lying, thieving, cheating scum.

It really takes some doing to be despised even by prostitutes but, Indian sex tourists, you seem to have managed it. Congratulations!