“Why oh why didn’t Murdoch hack my phone?”

“The question many disappointed z-rate celebs will be asking is “why oh why didn’t Murdoch hack my phone?” First of all, having your phone hacked by ‘Repulsive’ Rupert shows that you’re still important. Secondly, it’s like winning the lottery – you can sue News International and waltz off with up to a million quid. Over the next few weeks many third-raters will be waiting breathlessly by their phones hoping the police will contact them, hoping that they are amongst the 4,000 or so who had their phones hacked. After all, not to have been hacked shows you’re a nothing.