February 2024
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BandRaid – Africa’s kleptocrats know when it’s Christmas

Last Christmas we were once again treated to the nauseating sight and sound of a few multi-millionaire, mostly tax-avoiding rockstars telling us yet again that we ordinary taxpayers should be sending even more of our money to be stolen by Africa’s kleptocrats.

The whole thing, as usual, was led by Saint Bob Geldorf. As he was born in Southern Ireland, Saint Bob would (as far as I understand) be able to claim ‘non-dom’ status for tax purposes. Whether he does or not. I don’t know. Also prominent was the great Bono. Well, his complicated and creative tax arrangements are well known.

When doing their regular “give us yer f**kin money” routine, there are a few things these preachy multi-millionaires seem to forget to tell us like the population of Ethiopia being only 40 million in 1985 when Saint Bob did his first BandRaid but there are now almost 100 million Ethiopians. By 2040 there may be 200 million. Given there’s a famine in the Horn of Africa every 7 to 10 years, how are we going to feed them all? Ethiopia’s problem is not a lack of food. It’s a lack of population control. But it would be politically incorrect and waaaccciiisssttt to mention that. Also our moral superiors never talk about African corruption which means that about three times as much money is sent to offshore tax havens each year by African leaders as is given in aid.

The latest effort was to raise money to fight Ebola. No mention from Saint Bob of the (I think) €35m of our tax money donated by the EU to Sierra Leone about a year before the Ebola outbreak. The money was meant to be used for building clinics and training health-workers. Only about €2m ever reached the Sierra Leone Ministry of Health. The rest went AWOL (as is usual with aid to Africa)

Anyway. walking along the beach yesterday, I came up with some new lyrics for “Do they know it’s Christmas”. If any reader knows a young computer whizz who could use these to make a spoof video to post on YouTube with lots of pictures of African leaders with their palaces and Mercedes Benz while their people starve, they can contact me at . I have about £300 donated by the 3% of readers who have sent support for this website. So I could pay a little for the video.

Anyway, here’s my attempt at new lyrics: (this only took about 5 to 10 minutes, so I can improve on it)

do they know verse 1

do they know verse 2

do they know verse 3do they know verse 4

do they know verse end

4 comments to BandRaid – Africa’s kleptocrats know when it’s Christmas

  • NoMore

    Very good!

    (BTW there is a typo above – Sanctimonious Bob did his first Bandraid in 1985 not 1965)

  • John Fields

    My friend sent me an E Mail with pictures. The caption read ‘Who lives here?’
    It was one of the most palatial buildings I have ever seen. President Mugabe.
    It was then followed by pictures of the hovels where many of his people live.

  • John Fields

    Mr Craig, you must feel like those poor sods in Africa. There is a lot of money around,
    but they won’t give you any.

  • John Fields

    Mr. Craig. I have tried three times to send the Mugabe pictures to you.
    The post master tells me that I have failed to get through to ‘wordpress@snouts-in-the-’ Have you any suggestions?

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