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Chicken Cameron afraid of fighting-cock Farage

Our great leader, David “Chicken” Cameron is desperately ducking and weaving to avoid a party leaders’ debate before the May General Election.

In 2010, Chicken Cameron was enthusiastic about the debates. After all, he had nothing to lose. Thirteen years of New Labour had given us the Iraq disaster, financial crisis, the charismatic liar Blair had been replaced by the dismal, sociopathic Brown and compared to the tired, haggard Brown, Cameron could appear fresh and attractive to voters.

But Chicken and his advisers made one fatal mistake in 2010 – they gave the ludicrous Clegg equal billing with Cameron and Brown. This made the sandal-wearing LibDems look like a serious political party. This mistake was further compounded when Clegg managed to turn the debates into a “I agree with Nick” competition.

The result – Cameron couldn’t win an election against Britain’s most unpopular PM and had to go into coalition with Clegg.

Cameron’s cowardice was further exposed when he chickened out of facing down schoolboy Clegg over the Boundary Commission’s recommendation to reduce the number of MPs from 650 to 600  by equalising constituencies and thus removing an automatic 20-seat Labour advantage.

Now, as we approach the May 2015 General Election Chicken and his advisers realise that it would be fatal to give Farage the same prominence that Clegg got in 2010. For a start, it would legitimise UKIP in the same way as the 2010 debates legitimised the LibDems. And secondly, Farage would wipe the floor with Chicken Cameron:

So, what could Chicken and the Tories do to avoid this disaster? The answer – turn the debates from a serious discussion into a circus by including all kinds of lunatics and idiots from the Greens the SNP, some Welsh clots, some Northern Irish neanderthals etc.  In this way, Chicken could try to belittle Farage and UKIP portraying them as just another pointless fringe party.

And it looks like Chicken and his boss, Australian attack dog Lynton Crosby, will get away with this cynical scheme.

So, as Chicken frantically squirms and wriggles to avoid a real leaders’ debate between Chicken, Miliband, Farage and Clegg, let us take a few moments to remind ourselves of how enthusiastic Chicken was about leaders’ debates in 2010 and how Chicken recently seems to have lost that enthusiasm:

1. “I absolutely believe in these debates and think they are great.” – David Cameron and Jeremy Thompson, Sky news, 14 April 2010

2. “I think it is great we are having these debates and I hope they go someway to restore some of the faith and some of the trust into our politics because we badly need that once again in this country.” – David Cameron, Leaders Debate, ITV, 15 April 2010

3. “Look, I’ve been calling for these debates for five years, I challenged Blair, I challenged Brown, I challenged when I was ahead in the polls, and when I was behind in the polls. I just think they are a good thing.” – David Cameron, Daily Telegraph, 17 April 2010

4. “I’ve always wanted these debates to happen. I mean they happen in every country. They even happen in Mongolia for heaven’s sake and it’s part of the modern age that we should be in.” – David Cameron, BBC3, 21 April 2010

5. “I think these debates are here to stay. They clearly engage people in politics which is what we need.” – David Cameron, News of the World, 2 May 2010

6. “If you want the TV debates to go ahead you have got to do it fairly between the main parties and look, having said I want them, having challenged people to have them and quite right, Sky saying let’s have them, it would have been feeble to find some excuse to back out so I thought we’ve got to stick at this, we’ve got to do it. It will be challenging, it was, but I think I came through them.” – David Cameron, Sky News, 3 May 2010

7. “You know we’ve been going on for years about let’s have these debates and I think it really vindicated having that. I think people will be asking themselves why on earth, what was all the fuss about? Why on earth didn’t we have these things before? We should have done and it’s great they’re underway now and I think we’ll have them in every election in the future and I think that’s a really good thing for our democracy.” – David Cameron, BBC Radio Manchester, 16 April 2014

8. “On TV debates, I’m in favour of them, I think they’re good and we should go on having them and I will certainly play my part in trying to make that happen.” – David Cameron, Coalition mid term review, 7th Jan 2012

9. “I think TV debates are good. I enjoyed them last time – particularly the last one.” – David Cameron, Press Association, 10th December 2012

10. (And finally – here’s a time when he criticised candidates for pulling out of the debates) – “Blair pulled out against, against Major and Major pulled out against Kinnock, Thatcher pulled out against Callaghan. I’ve just always believed that these need to happen. It’s good for democracy. It’s good to see.” – David Cameron and Allan Beswick, BBC Radio Manchester, 16 April 2014

2 comments to Chicken Cameron afraid of fighting-cock Farage

  • NoMore

    It’s a shame Cameron Père didn’t pull out of Cameron Mère.

  • Cameron did not want the boundary changes because that would have given advantage to the Conservative party in the 2015 Election. His relationship with the Conservative Party is the same as that of an Atheist Bishop to the Church of England.

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