March 2023
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Osborne’s “great triumph”

Two blogs for the price of one today.

I just read this explanation of Osborne’s great negotiating triumph. Enjoy.

I owe you £40.

You get a pay rise because you are working hard, whereas I get a pay cut for being lazy.

I tell you that it’s not fair you should get a pay rise for working hard while I got a pay cut for being lazy. So you should give me £80.

You complain, so I agree to offset the £40 I owe you against my demand for £80, so you only have to pay me £40. Thus you were due £40 from me, but now you are going to pay me £40.

You explain this to your wife as a triumph of hard-talking negotiation on your part and assure her that your relationship with me is essential for her future well-being. Does she:

a) regard you as a heroic defender of her standard of living?
b) call you a useless idiot and leave you for Nigel down the road?

2 comments to Osborne’s “great triumph”

  • Keen Reader

    Got it in one! Marvellous!

  • But was the pay rise justified anyway. Had the person really added to the companies profits or was it just fake figures. Just as Osborn is using in the run up to the 2015 election.We have to pay more to the EU based on false economic growth fidures.Wr have not a surge in exports just an increase in construction and population growth due to immmigration. Size of economy means nothing if its running at a loss. Woolworths before it went bust had a bigger economy in gross turnover than 99p store. Also under ER rules the value of prostitution and the drugs trade has to now be included in the figures.

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