How did ISIS know we were coming?

And so, after weeks of prevarication and hours of hot air in Parliament, Britain finally went into action against ISIS in Iraq. Two of our over 20-year-old Tornado GR4 fighter/bombers plus a refuelling plane boldly set off to pummel those dastardly Isl*mic State terrorists. You know, the Isl*mic State terrorists that Cameron, Clegg and Miliband all claim have nothing to do with the Religion of Peace.

Incidentally, the Tornado GR4 fighter/bombers were pretty much the same versions of the plane used in the 1991 Gulf War.

Anyway, much to our great leaders’ surprise, the Isl*mic State fighters weren’t standing around in large vulnerable groups with all their vehicles and weapons screaming and ululating their defiance waiting to be attacked like our leaders thought they would after watching films like Lawrence of Arabia and Gordon of Khartoum. Nope, somehow the Isl*mic State fighters realised British planes were on the way and so decided to disperse into civilian areas. Thus, with thousands of Isl*mic State fighters (who of course have nothing to do with *sl*m) running wild in Iraq, during seven hours of flying around like idiots, the British planes couldn’t find a single target to attack.

To cover up their embarrassment, our military bosses claim the two clapped-out Tornado GR4 fighter/bombers “gathered valuable intelligence”. This is a lie. The planes have been flying over Iraq for weeks “gathering valuable intelligence”. It’s more than doubtful that they learnt anything new that they didn’t already know from previous flights and from US military satellites.

This is the result of (IMHO) war criminal Blair’s illegal wars. Now it takes us so long to organise just a simple air strike that our opponents will always be forewarned. Luckily for us the Islamic State fighters don’t have planes or SAM missiles (yet), otherwise, Britain would now be two Tornado fighter/bombers short.

Meanwhile the Americans, who have once again been in action against ISIS in Syria, must be shaking their heads in despair at Britain’s uselessness.