“YES” or “NO” – Salmond is still the winner

Podgy Toad look-alike, Alex Salmond, must be laughing his lardy arse off at our leaders’ stupidity.

For a start, he got the question he wanted – “Should Scotland become a independent country?” As any market researcher or consumer behaviour specialist will know, had the question been “Should Scotland remain part of the UK?” many fewer people would be voting for independence.

But actually, whether the Scots vote YES or No almost doesn’t really matter to Salmond – he wins massively either way.

If the Scots vote YES, Salmond gets his own little empire to run and becomes a great Scottish hero – a modern-day William Wallace or Robert the Bruce.

If the Scots narrowly vote NO, then Salmond can still claim to be the winner as he can portray himself as the brave Scottish underdog fighting courageously against the overwhelming forces of the English establishment and winning wide-ranging new powers for the Scottish Parliament from a panicking Westminster. So, even in the case of a NO vote, he still gets his little empire to run and will still be able to puff himself up as a modern-day William Wallace or Robert the Bruce.

In fact, were the Scots to vote YES, Salmond might have a problem – there isn’t enough money to pay for the ‘everything is free’ socialist paradise he has promised the Scots and he would be blamed when his great dream collapsed in national bankruptcy and swingeing cuts to public services.

I even suspect that Salmond might prefer to lose narrowly, because then he’d still be a hero and can carry on heaping welfare largesse on the Scots, all paid for by stupid English taxpayers.

As so often in politics, while the cretinous masses get all heated up about the likely result, there is only one result – that is whatever the result, the top dogs win.

Alex Salmond is one very sharp cookie – especially compared to dopey David Cameron.