Snouts in the Trough

Here he is, the great Alex Salmond who claims “the Scottish lion has roared”. Though he looks more like a bloated overweight toad than a roaring lion:

But who in England wants to hear the triumphalist, benefits-dependent Scots whingeing and moaning every minute of every day for the next five years as they claim they’re being oppressed by the horrible Tawries? Not me. Perhaps it’s time to call the Scottish toad’s bluff?

About 36 years ago Labour Treasury Secretary Joel Barnett came up with a supposedly temporary allocation of money to the four countries making up the UK. It became known as the “Barnett Formula”. Every year for the last 36 years, the Scrots have received much more public spending per head of population than  the English and the Welsh. In 2014, this Barnett Formula led to the Scots getting £10,152 per head compared to just £8,529 in England. So the Scrots are receiving £1,623 per head in public spending (19% ) more than the English:

Lord Barnett never intended his formula to last for 36 years. In fact he described it as a “terrible mistake” during the Scottish referendum.

He said it had become a “national embarrassment” and that he felt ashamed his name was still associated with it. Lord Barnett, who died aged 91 in November 2014 admitted “It is unfair and should be stopped, it is a mistake. This way is terrible and can never be sustainable, it is a national embarrassment and personally embarrassing to me as well“.

Now that the People’s Democratic Republic of Scotland has become a socialist, one-party state, perhaps it’s time to discard the Barnett Formula? Perhaps it’s time to give the whingeing. complaining Scots full fiscal independence? That means they would have full tax and spending powers and they can only spend the money they raise in taxes and can borrow on international financial markets.

If we did this, the ghastly Salmond and Sturgeon would discover that they needed to find another £5bn to £8bn more than they currently raise in tax to carry on offering the Scrots all the goodies like free university, free prescriptions and other things the Scrots get, but are not available in England because we can’t afford them.

In fact, if the Scots actually got the fiscal independence they keep demanding, they would be bankrupt within a year. But they keep demanding fiscal independence in the certain knowledge that the dreadful Tawries would never give it. Maybe it’s time to call their bluff? Let’s give them full tax and spending powers and then watch with glee as they become another Greece and founder and sink. Perhaps their beloved EU will bail them out?

So, don’t be taken in by the strident Sturgeon’s and ridiculous Salmond’s empty bluster and outrageous lies. They have their greedy mouths firmly clamped onto the abundant, ever-giving teats of the English taxpayer and nothing will ever loosen their grip on our money.

Apparently there’s a joke:

Q: What’s a well-balanced Scot?

A. One with chips on both his/her shoulders

I’m no fan of PR man Podgy Dodgy David Cameron. Hence my book GREED UNLIMITED How Cameron and Clegg Protect the Elites While Squeezing the Rest of Us

But the alternative to recidivist liar Cameron was truly too awful to contemplate. Red Len McCluskey’s wet dream would have been Britain’s worst nightmare:

Yesterday Britain truly pulled back from the brink of total disaster.

The person we should probably thank most is the lovely Nicola Sturgeon. The thought of this ghastly, strident Scottish Harpy controlling Ed Miliband and the country seems to have been more than many English voters could take:

Hence, I believe, the late Tory surge.

Amongst the other pleasures of the night were sublime moments like seeing the utterly useless Ed ‘Windmill’ Davey and David ‘Liar and Crook’ Laws leaving Westminster to find new jobs. What joy!

But it’s not over yet…….. Maybe there are more delights to come? I’m off to see if the financially-incontinent, economically-illiterate Gordon-Brown-thinkalike Ed Balls also loses his seat. Yup, he’s gone. Aaahhhh how wonderful not to have to see his fat, stupid face for the next 5 years.

In the meantime, Dodgy Dave can celebrate his great vic-tory:

Though I do feel a little sorry for the LibDems. When they went into coalition, of course they wanted all the pay, perks and privileges of power. But they also did the right thing for our country. It was rather immature of voters to give them such a hammering.

Boy oh boy, this is turning out to be a great week for Africa’s people traffickers. And it’s still only Wednesday.

We’ve now been told that our government is going to borrow more money to send a British ship and helicopters to rescue African migrants being sent by people-smugglers across the Med. Our HMS Bulwark – a 19,000-tonne amphibious ship – will work in tandem with three Merlin helicopters, operating out of a naval air station in Sigonella, Sicily to provide a wide-ranging search-and-rescue capability.

How Africa’s human traffickers must be celebrating. Previously they had to cram their cargoes of migrants into boats that looked like they might possibly be able to cross to Europe. But now the smugglers just need to get their human cargoes a few miles offshore and British and other rescuers will helpfully pick the migrants up and take them to Europe.

This brilliant decision will make the people-smugglers’ job much easier and will hugely increase the number of migrants they can send to Europe.

Why don’t we just build a bridge across the Straits of Gibraltar and hand a British passport and National Insurance number to every African that wants to cross?

Meanwhile, Australia has avoided being swamped by migrants under Operation Sovereign Borders, whereby their military intercepts the people-smugglers’ boats and takes them to offshore islands where the illegal immigrants are processed and most are then sent home.

It makes you want to weep comparing Australia’s decisiveness with our cowardice.

Help us! Help us!

As for the wonderful people we’re transporting completely free of charge across the Med, they make a great job of portraying themselves as victims:

But most are actually economic migrants trying to escape the poverty and hopelessness caused by their own incompetent, corrupt, kleptocratic rulers.

We hate you! We want to kill you!

Yet as soon as they get here and receive their benefits plus free housing, free healthcare, free schooling for their children, free everything, do they thank us? Do they show any gratitude? No exactly. In fact, they try to turn our cities into Third World slums and try to impose their primitive death cult masquerading as a religion on us.

So, here’s a message to all those who gave their lives protecting Britain in two world wars: “you wasted you lives for nothing. Britain is being turned into an *sl*mic hell-hole ruled by Germany”

I liked a comment made by a reader a couple of weeks ago – “if you allowed all Africans to come to Europe and took all of Europe’s population to Africa, within 20 years Europe would be an impoverished, excrement-covered, corrupt cesspit and Africa would be a thriving, economic success story”.

(Just a little story that might have slipped by unnoticed by most people. On Monday this week, EU president Jean Claude Juncker held a meeting with Greece’s former prime minister Antonis Samaras. I’m sure Mr Juncker is a busy man, so it’s interesting that he had time to meet up with an ex-leader. I wonder what they talked about. Reminiscing over old times? Or getting ready for the EU to force Greece into bankruptcy to destroy the Left-wing elected Syriza government and replace it with an obedient administration led by Samaras because the EU is terrified that, if Syriza were to succeed in rescuing Greece from economic collapse, then that would give a huge boost to anti-EU parties in Italy, Portugal and Spain?)

Last week a charity called WaterAid ran a series of TV ads appealing for money to provide clean water for families in Ethiopia.

I’m sure WaterAid do excellent work and I’m sure they do provide clean water and sanitation for hundreds of thousands of people who wouldn’t otherwise get them. But should we be donating at all?

WaterAid raises and spends about £74m a year, has 684 staff and its chief executive gets a remuneration package of £141,201. That’s about the same as the British Prime Minister, who is responsible for a rather larger budget and rather more people. Moreover, the chief executive seems quite well rewarded compared to the chief executives at some other, much larger, charities. One might wonder, for example, why WaterAid’s chief executive should get £32,000 a year more than the chief executive of Oxfam (£109,000 a year) which has a budget (£386m) five times as large as WaterAid and around 5,000 employees compared to WaterAid’s 684 employees.

But let’s not allow that to dissuade us from helping WaterAid. Instead let’s look at the estimated wealth of Ethiopia’s ten richest people, all of whom appear to be part of or have close relations with the Ethiopian Government:

The 10 Richest Ethiopians in 2013

1. Mohammed Al Amoudi – Controls gold mines and massive tracts of fertile lands that were handed to him by Meles Zenawi, after their owners were kicked out and displaced. Estimated net worth: $10bn.

2. Azeb Mesfin – Widow of the late dictator Meles Zenawi, commonly known as the “mother of corruption” has ownership interests in many of the biggest companies in Ethiopia. Estimated net worth: $4bn.

3. mBerhane Gebrekiristos – The closest and most trust friend of Meles and Azeb; launders their loot out of the country. Estimated net worth: $2bn.

4. Sebhat Nega – His fortune has been declining after he was kicked out of the TPLF politburo and the Endowment Fund for the Relief of Tigray (EFFORT) by Meles and Azeb; he is currently rebounding. Estimated net worth $2bn.

5. Seyoum Mesfin – Current Ethiopian ambassador to China, former foreign affairs minister, used his chairmanship of Ethiopian Airlines and diplomatic status to smuggle illegal drugs between Africa and Asia; he is perhaps the biggest drug trader in Africa. Estimated net worth: $1.8bn

6. Samuel Tafesse – One of Azeb Mesfin’s business partners; their relationship has gone sour over the past couple of years, negatively affecting his construction business. Estimated net worth: $1.6bn

7. Abay Teshay – A senior member of the ruling party, has blind partnerships with many of the big companies in Ethiopia. Net worth: $1.5bn

8. Omer Ali Shifaw – Owner of Nejat International, whose wealth has been declining after TPLF started to compete with his coffee exporting business. Estimated net worth: $500m

9. Eyob Mamo – CEO and Chairman of Capitol Petroleum Group, Washington DC. Estimated worth: $500m.

10 . Suhura Ismail Khan – She has become the biggest khat trader in East Africa by establishing partnerships with TPLF officials and forging a close friendship with the late dictator Meles Zenawi. The TPLF-occupied Ethiopian embassies around the world are her main khat export routes to the Diaspora. Estimated net worth: $200m

It would seem that the Ethiopian elites have more than enough money to provide clean water and sanitation for all their people without WaterAid’s help!

As in so many Third World countries, the aid we give is just allowing the corrupt, kleptocratic elites to steal money from their countries as they know we’ll look after their impoverished people.

And let’s look at the population of Ethiopia:

When Saint Bob did his BandAid gig, there were about 40 million Ethiopians. Now there are 96 million. No wonder they don’t all have clean water and sanitation. No wonder they’re flooding across the Med, headed for Europe.

When asking for our money, charities like WaterAid forget to mention the scale of corruption in the countries where they work and they gloss over the unsustainable rate of population growth.

Likewise, when telling us that Africans drowning in the Med is all our fault, the media and the bleeding-heart opinion-formers also don’t mention the real reason for the tsunami of African immigrants – rampant corruption and unsustainable population growth.

It’s time to stop this foreign aid farce. It’s time to tell the truth:

1. African leaders steal three times as much from their countries each year than we give in aid. If we could just cut the level of corruption in Africa by half, we wouldn’t need to give any aid at all and the countries would still be better off

2. If Africans were to practice just a little birth control, then maybe 80% of them wouldn’t be living in abject poverty (less than $1.25 a day)

On this blog, I like to deal with the great existential philosophical, political, economic and religious questions of our time.

So, today I propose examining the sales pitch used to convince M*sl*ms to sacrifice their lives for their wonderful beliefs:

We all know that if a M*sl*m dies killing us worthless kaffirs, or even killing other M*sl*ms who have a slightly different interpretation of their holy book, then that M*sl*m goes to Paradise and gets a whole pile of virgins.

But what if some mad Muzzies blow themselves into mincemeat through sheer incompetence? What if they die without killing either a few of us kaffirs (who are, of course, lower than pigs) or other Muzzies?

I ask the question because of one of the most cheering stories of the week. Apparently an ISIL explosives factory in Syria has recently blown up killing about 25 ISIL fighters and seriously injuring another 20. He-he-he-he-he!

Will these clumsy, incompetent losers all get their one-way ticket to Paradise and their 72 virgins? Or will their failure to commit mass murder before they left us bar them from eternal delights? I don’t know. But I do feel that we need some bearded clerical lunatic to pronounce on the matter.

I also have three other questions about the whole “Paradise and 72 virgins” sales pitch:

Q 1. It is assumed that those virgins are female. But what if that’s not the case? What happens if, on getting to Paradise, some mad Muzzie finds out that his virgins are male? Does he then have to bugger them all for all eternity? And what if the virgins are LBGT? What does the dead Jihadi do then?

Q 2. What if the virgins you get on arriving in Paradise are virgins for a very good reason – they are fat, ugly, have excessive amounts of body hair and a problem with perspiration that no amount of deodorant can solve? Do you still have to spend eternity shagging them? Doesn’t sound like Paradise to me. (click on pictures to see more clearly)

Q 3. What about female mad Muzzies. If they blow themselves up in the name of the Prophet, what kind of virgins do they get? Female ones? Or male ones? Or transgender?

All in all, as a former salesman and the author of a book – DON’T BUY IT! – warning about salespeople’s tricks and traps, I worry about the “Paradise and 72 virgins” sales pitch. It’s not sufficiently detailed, it doesn’t cover all eventualities and there’s no mention of “satisfaction guaranteed or your life back”. So, I personally wouldn’t buy it.

But lots of people do buy it. I reckon there have been over 8,000 suicide attacks since 9/11.

By the way, I did a quick calculation – if 8,000 suicide bombers are all to get 72 virgins each, *ll*h would need to find 576,000 virgins. Of course, I know the Great and Merciful *ll*h is omniscient and omnipotent. But finding more than 576,000 virgins is not going to be easy, even for Him.