Darren “They’re mostly women and children” Jones announces leak inquiry

Wednesday blog

I’m sure you’ll all fondly remember Darren “they’re mostly women and children” Jones. In a June 2025 Question Time programme, honest Mr Jones said (according to the BBC): “And when you see that the majority of the people in these boats are children, babies and women… you have got to take note.”

The actual figures at the time were (according to the BBC):

“In the first three months of 2025, there were 6,420 small boat arrivals where the age and sex of the person was recorded, according to Home Office figures. Of these, 81% (5,183) were adult men. In the same period, of the 531 child arrivals (aged 17 and under), 427 of them were male and 104 female. There is no further age breakdown, so we don’t know how many babies were amongst them.”

Of course, what the BBC didn’t mention was that many of the supposed under-17 children were actually men in their twenties just claiming to be children. So probably more than the BBC’s reported 81% were actually men?

So Mr Jones’s claim that “the majority of the people in these boats are children, babies and women” seems to be contradicted by the evidence.

Anyway, honest Mr Jones is in the news again today. Mr Jones apparently told MPs yesterday that a ‘leak inquiry” was underway to find out who told the Guardian newspaper that the Mandelcreature had failed security vetting.

I’m confused. I believe it was in September 2025 – over six months ago – that a journalist from The Independent newspaper sent this message to a contact in government:

This was followed by an article in The Independent about Mandelthing failing the security vetting.

So the Mandelmonster vetting failure was already in the public domain over half a year ago – over half a year before the Guardian ran the story.

Of course, it’s probable that the Independent article was based on rumour and in the last week or so someone leaked more details about the security vetting failure to the Guardian thus confirming what The Independent suspected.

So perhaps Monsieur Jones should have launched his leak inquiry six months ago into the leak to The Independent rather than waiting for last week’s Guardian article. It’s all very confusing.

Moreover, if The Independent knew about Mandelperson’s security vetting failure more than six months ago, it is (to use Starmer’s own word) “incredible” that Starmer now claims he only found out about this last week. Maybe Starmer’s claim of being left in the dark is even beyond “incredible”. Maybe Starmer’s claim to have only found out about the security vetting problem last week is unbelievable, inconceivable, unimaginable, implausible?

As for Mr Jones’s leak inquiry – that really seems to be a case of shooting the messenger.

As for Starmer, he really seems to have the ‘reverse Midas touch’: The opposite of the “Midas touch” (turning everything to gold/success) is the reverse Midas touch, also known as the Sadim touch (Midas spelled backward). This phrase describes someone who consistently turns valuable or successful ventures into failures, losses, or worthless situations: