Ladies, don’t sit next to an enricher on a plane

weekend blog

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. This weekend’s blog is about a subject I never imagined I would ever write about. It’s about a multi-culturally enriching custom I’d never really considered. The only reason I feel it worth mentioning is that there seem to have been two reports within just a few days of this happening on planes which were thousands of miles away from each other. So, this multi-culturally enrichiching custom may be far more common that most normal people would like to imagine.

Flight from Dubai to Bangkok

A Thai mother has alleged that a Pakistani passenger sexually assaulted her as she slept beside her four-year-old daughter on a six-hour flight from Dubai to Bangkok.

Beaut Pimpaporn, 33, said the alleged incident occurred on flight FZ-1583, after she boarded a connecting flight in Dubai following a trip to Milan, Italy. The aircraft landed at Don Mueang International Airport. Ms Pimpaporn said she had fallen asleep with her daughter on her lap and woke to find the passenger beside her allegedly performing a sex act and touching her buttock. She also noticed a wet stain on her trousers. I could show you the photo of this wet stain but will spare you. The ‘wet stain’ turned out to be the Pakistani gentleman’s semen.

Ms Pimpaporn said cabin crew questioned Mr Ali, initially in Arabic, and that he first denied the allegation before admitting his conduct. She said he cried, knelt and asked for forgiveness, while several people believed to be travelling with him as part of a Pakistani tour group also asked her to let him go. You can understand why the other Pakistani passengers felt Mr Ali had done nothing wrong as this multi-culturally enriching custom is probably considered normal for citizens from that wonderful country. After all, we’ve seen how many thousands of pre-teen and teenage British girls have been enriched by rape gangs mainly consisting of enrichers from Pakistan:

Labour councillors and Labour-adoring social workers, teachers, prosecutors and police seemingly didn’t notice what was actually going on.

Anyway, the woman fortunately felt that crime deserved punishment and wrote about Mr Ali’s punishment on her Facebook: “If you commit a crime, you have to face the consequences. Three years in prison, a 120,000 baht fine and blacklisted from entering Thailand ever again.”

Looks like Mr Ali will be staying in Thailand rather longer than he had planned.

Flight from Dubai to Newcastle

A biotechnology engineer who allegedly performed a sex act while sitting next to a mother and her child on board an Emirates flight has been spared jail. B….. L……., 27, from Kerala, India, has been convicted of exposing his crown jewels on the long-haul flight travelling from Dubai to the UK. The engineer, who has a Master’s qualification, was sat in one of the three seats in a row, the other two occupied by a mother and her baby son.

A court heard that, as the woman got up to make her child a feed, she noticed that the 27-year-old had a blanket over his lap. Initially, the mother from Australia feared that the Indian gentleman was concealing a weapon. (This might remind readers of the well-known Mae West quote: “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?“)

The woman realised that the highly-educated Indian gentleman was performing a sex act (having a wank). The Indian enricher was reported to cabin crew and arrested upon arrival at Newcastle International Airport. The victim said she had been ‘deeply distressed’ by the incident but had tried not to get too alarmed on the flight for the sake of her son. The alleged masturbator was sentenced to an 18-month community order, with 150 hours of unpaid work. He was also ordered to pay a total of £914 in costs and a victim surcharge. Lucky for this Indian gentleman that he wasn’t on a flight to Thailand where he would have received a real punishment for his mile-high masturbation.

It was reported that the Indian gentleman still denies that he committed the offence.

So ladies, be careful if you’re sitting next to an enricher on a plane. You never know what you’ll see and what bodily fluids may be spaffed onto your clothes.

Andy’s going on a summer holiday

It seems that, after a mere two weeks as our greatest ever Prime MInister, the Manchester Messiah, Andrew Burnham, is off on his summer holidays: