How Britain’s looters could bring us Olympic glory

Hopefully the organisers of the 2012 Games will hold an emergency meeting so they can bring some new sports into the London Olympics. There should be competitions for the 100m dash carrying a 42″ flat screen TV: the hurl a brick through a shop window: the team that is fastest to smash down a metal shutter protecting an off-licence: the person who can carry the largest number of mobile phones and of course the person who can be photographed the most clearly while looting a shop.

If only these sports were part of the 2012 Games, then Britain could be sure of many many gold medals.