October 2017
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When in Thailand, beware “flying farang”

If visiting Thailand, never walk near a high-rise block of flats where foreigners (farang) live. Otherwise you migh get injured if you’re hit by a “flying farang”. A “flying farang” is usually a Western man over 65 who has retired to Thailand and married a much younger Thai woman. When buying his flat (condo) the farang’s wife will probably have suggested he buy one on a high floor as “hab good view”. Then one day, the farang apparently decides to leap off his balcony and try flying without wings. Sometimes the farang will be helped on his way by his Thai wife, her real Thai husband, her brothers or cousins or just some friends. But whether he jumped willingly or was pushed, the police conclusion is always the same – suicide – especially if enough money changes hands.

Some farang take another route to meet their Maker – the heart attack. They travel to their wife’s village and sadly die from a heart attack. Sometimes the heart attack may be helped by being bludgeoned with some farming implement or having their throat cut. But the police verdict is the same – heart attack.

When Western men move to poor countries like the Philipines or Thailand and Western women move to Gambia or the Carribean in search of “love”, they’re essentially walking around with a huge sign on their back saying something like “I’m lonely, pretend to like me, give me sex, marry me, kill me and have enough money to live off for the rest of your life”. Sadly when you do that, it’s not unlikely you’ll find someone happy to oblige.

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