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How to not get shot by an Israeli soldier – advice to Palestinians

(Friday blog)

Gradually we’re finding out that at least 53 of the 60 or so supposedly “innocent civilians” shot by Israeli troops the other day were actually armed, trained, murderous Hamas combatants. But I doubt the BBC and C4 News will bother to tell us that. We all know that the BBC and C4 News loathe the Israelis and would gladly see all Jews slaughtered by the BBC’s and C4’s Arab friends.

Today is Friday, so we can expect tens of thousands of I love my snackbar-screaming low-IQ, inbred, illiterate, unemployable, religious fanatics to once again try to storm the Israeli border, when they’ve finished raising their farting arses into the air as they pray to their wonderful god. Their aim – to break into Israel and do the bidding of Hamas leaders (far away from all the trouble) and tear the hearts out of the Israelis:

So, I thought it might be useful if I was to plagiarise someone else’s idea for an article and give some tips to the screaming, mouth-frothing, deluded, moronic Palestinian hate machines about how to avoid getting shot by an Israeli soldier:

  1. If you attack an armed man or woman in a uniform, they will very probably shoot you
  2. If in doubt, see Point 1 (above)
  3. If you carry a weapon in order to kill an Israeli soldier, they will probably shoot you
  4. If in doubt, see Point 2 (above)
  5. If you try to stab or behead an armed Israeli soldier with your ‘knife of peace’, they will most probably shoot you
  6. If in doubt, see Point 4 (above)
  7. If you throw rocks at an armed Israeli soldier with your ‘sling of peace’, they will most probably shoot you
  8. If in doubt, see Point 6 (above)

9. If you try to breach the border fence with Israel in order to tear the heart out of any Israelis you find, you will most probably get shot

10. If in doubt, see Point 8 (above)

11. If you don’t want your children to be injured or killed in the attempted invasion of Israel, then what about staying at home and watching Al Jazeera or the cursed infidel Disney Channel rather than joining the attacking mobs?

12. If in doubt, see Point 10 (above)

13. Most Israeli soldiers have nothing against you personally. They just want to get home alive and well at the end of the week or month to be with their families again. If you in any way threaten their lives, then they will probably shoot you:

So, why not just leave them alone?

Dear mouth-foaming, hate-filled, violent, worthless Palestinians – it’s really not that difficult to not get shot by an Israeli soldier. Yet hundreds of you still manage to get shot. How stupid are you? If you just follow the simple advice above, you won’t get shot.

Oh and should you ever see any of your leaders – the raging, hate-spewing old men who love sending you to pointless injury and/or death – why not ask them who stole all the tens of billions in aid the Palestinians have received over many years from the gullible West? Why not ask your leaders why there are no new schools, hospitals, factories, power plants, desalination plants, universities, roads, sewage works etc etc?

Why not ask your leaders why, seventy years after the founding of the State of Israel, you still all live in a filthy, stinking, cess-pit sewer of a sh*thole when you could all be living in a prosperous, clean, modern, advanced, democratic country – you know, a country like Israel?

Dear Palestinians – if only you weren’t (IMHO) a bunch of low-IQ, inbred, almost catatonically-stupid morons, you’d realise that your real enemies are the hate-spewing, corrupt old men who rule you and NOT the Israelis.

5 comments to How to not get shot by an Israeli soldier – advice to Palestinians

  • Stillreading

    Wonderful! So refreshing to read the truth rather than the biased anti-Israel reporting we are force fed by the vast majority of mainstream media.
    Palestine, along with certain African countries, will never progress socially, scientifically, medically while its idea of education is restricted largely to rote learning of a certain book and whose ethos is that Allah will provide, thus obviating the need for any personal effort. “Allah” being Western nations whose wealth derives from education and scientific progress, made possible only by control population expansion and disease.

  • daveh

    This did make me smile, but absolutely true.
    A good start to the day.

  • Gloria

    Made me smile too…..nice one.

  • Mr J G Fields

    Another blog to show why we need you, Mr Craig.
    THE TRUTH.
    We need some of the Israeli, ‘no nonsense approach’
    here with Brexit. Mrs May is pussy footing around
    with Brussels. In the final reckoning she will
    still betray us.

  • Nom

    Its always funny how the leaders themselves are happy to manipulate the cannon fodder to put their lives on the line for their virgins but they never do it themselves. They treate their chilsdren and family members in Israeli hospitals but forbid their people from doing so. They build houses and swimming pools with the aid but cant build a park for the kids or a hospital. But it matters not to the left, they just hate the Jews and prefer to side with an organisation that would throw them off a building or shoot them once they are no longer useful idiots for the cause and have done a few times thus far.

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