October 2017
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The dangers of marrying a TUB

(As it’s the weekend, something a little less serious today – a day on which, like on  every other day our national debt increases by a mere £274m as our financially incontinent rulers borrow ever more money to waste http://www.nationaldebtclock.co.uk/ )

Apparently our magazines are full of articles by supposed ‘relationship experts’ telling us why people are attracted to each other and what’s the basis of a stable long-term relationship. Though, in today’s society who knows what ‘long-term’ now means – weeks? months?

But one thing I suspect these relationship experts seldom if ever mention is ‘shared morality’. By that I mean, people who believe that you should be decent to others and try to get with them will gravitate towards others with a similar morality while people who believe others are to be used, trampled on and then cast aside in their rush to further their own careers – total utter bastards (TUBs) – will similarly gravitate to others with those kinds of beliefs.

I don’t mean that TUBs consciously say to themselves ‘I like using and discarding other people and so need to find a partner with a similar approach to life’ but rather that TUBs will naturally feel more comfortable with partners who are also TUBs.

I worked for many years in management consultancy. There are two main types of people in management consultancy. There are the footsoldiers (what we used to call ‘billing foodder’) – fairly decent people who would happily work for £1,000 to £1,500 per week and who could be charged out to our useless clients – big companies and incompetent bureaucracies like the NHS and Ministry of Defence – at £7,000 to £10,000 per week, producing endless streams of money for the consultancies’ partners and directors.

As in any walk of life, where there are huge amounts of money to be earned extremely quickly by those of quite modest talents provided they are sufficiently cunning, consultancy attracts quite a lot of TUBS – people who will lie and cheat and stab you in the back and slander you and claim credit for things they had nothing to do with and make sure someone else was in the way when a project went t*ts up and a scapegoat was needed in their desperate attempts to grab huge amounts of the cash that was rolling in.

At our annual summer and Christmas parties at various castles and luxury hotels in Britain and abroad, you’d meet the TUBs’ partners, who were generally as arrogant, snobbish and unpleasant as the TUBs and would spend most of the time boasting about their numerous houses and fabulous holidays and brilliant children going to the most expensive schools etc etc.

But while the TUBs’ partners enjoyed the benefits of being with a money-grabbing TUB, they often didn’t seem to realise  that there might be a downside. because a few years later, at the next company bash, while the billing fodder would turn up with the same partners, you’d find that the TUBs were frequently with a different, usually younger and more attractive partner, the original partner having been unceremoniously dumped when the TUB could get his or her fingers into a better model.

My wife kept contact with a few TUBs’ former partners and a common theme we found was the shock and surprise that they felt when their TUB behaved like a TUB towards them rather than towards other people.

So, if you or anyone you know is thinking of getting together with a TUB. Read what it says in the tin. And if it says ‘TUB’, while there may be temporary advantages in being with a TUB – money, social position etc – a TUB will always behave like a TUB and that makes the TUB’s partner just another person to be used and thrown aside. Remember – once a TUB, always a TUB.

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